So your parents have left and the dust has settled. As you’ve realized by now, dear freshman, there’s no one reminding you to go to bed, clean your room or put on clean underwear. And so, inevitably, you stay up late, live in filth and parade around campus in a less-than-fresh pair of skivvies.
And, as I’m sure you’ve also noticed, no one’s forbidding co-ed “sleepovers” either.
College means you have to start making serious sexual decisions. Sure, you may have slept with some people in high school. But high school sex means sneaking around your parents and having awkward quickies whenever the opportunity presents itself. Now that you’re at college, you’re free to bump and grind as often as you’d like.
Which isn’t to say that you should. There are always those freshmen that misuse their newfound freedom and end up with the clap before Thanksgiving. If you don’t want to be one of those lucky few, keep the following in mind the next time you’re playing tonsil hockey.
- You’re not a minor anymore. You finally have to take responsibility for your actions. Made out with someone after an intense game of beer pong? No, you don’t get to blame the alcohol. Your sexual decisions, stupid or not, can only be made by you.
- Upperclassmen are probably only looking for ass. Met a sweet senior frat boy? That’s nice. Sucking his dick will not make you his girlfriend.
- You are in charge of your own sexual health. It’s not enough to ask someone if they are clean and then take their word for it. Get tested regularly and make sure that your partner(s) do too. If you don’t know your own STI status, how can you expect anyone else to know theirs?
- It’s your job to educate yourself. This is mostly aimed at those kids who suffered through abstinence education (hint: Tab A gets inserted into Slot B). Get your hands on a good sex book (try Guide To Getting It On or anything by Tracy Cox). If you think you know it all, plenty of quality publications online will knock your socks off (check out Savage Love or The Peeq).
- Don’t date anybody seriously until March. Some people find their soulmates during New Student Week. And then they become one of those nauseating couples that spend far too much time together. Until they break up. Only to discover that they have no friends.
- The only good reason to have sex is because you really, truly want to. Not because it seems like a good idea at the time. Not because the other person likes you. Not because you’re desperate to get laid. Not because you’re questioning your sexuality. Not because you’re drunk…. You get the picture.
- Alcohol makes you do stupid things. Recognize it, accept it and move on.
- It’s only as awkward as you make it. You’re going make mistakes. Mortifying mistakes. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with your mistakes.
- Be honest about what you want. Only in it for one night? Say so. Want to move more slowly? Speak up. Think someone is a Greek Adonis? Tell them. If you’re not communicating directly, you can only blame yourself for a missed opportunity or a messy morning-after.
- Ignore what other people think about your sex life. This is the hardest. If you’re saving yourself until marriage, don’t let anybody tell you you’re a frigid bitch. If you like sex, don’t let anybody call you a slut. Don’t let anybody else’s personal morals, religious beliefs or insecurities dictate what you do.
Welcome to the adult world of sex, freshmen. Now go put on some clean underwear.