No, seriously.
People have requested that I offer an explanation of beer pong. I too was surprised, but apparently there are plenty of kids on this campus that do not know the rules, thus disrespecting the true wonder that is beer pong.
Granted, beer pong rules are different almost everywhere you go, as there are endless alternate rules that can be added. Because of this, it is absolutely integral that you are aware of the “house rules” before you start playing anywhere. People get pissed when their house rules are dissed or ignored. Really pissed.
Let’s start with the basics:
Find a long, smooth, flat surface. Pingpong tables are always recommended, but really, anything about that long that’s also wide enough to support 10 cups on each side will do.
Collect your materials. You’ll need 22 party cups. That’s 10 for each triangle and one water cup each. You’ll also need a ton of beer. Two beers per side will do it, though a lot of people play with three. Real champions (read: alcoholics) play with full cups, but that’s not recommended. And, of course, you’ll need two pingpong balls. A partner is optional, but much appreciated.
Now that you’re all ready to go, you’re going to need to figure out who throws first. A common way: the stare down. One person on each side of the table takes a pingpong ball and stares into the other person’s eyes. On the count of three, you throw your ball towards your opponents cups without breaking eye contact. If no one lands a throw, keep alternating between partners until someone does. Whoever sinks it first gets to go first; however the cup you hit doesn’t count.
Basically, all you have to do is throw a pingpong ball into a cup. When the ball goes into the cup, the other team takes the cup away and drinks it. Once all of the cups are gone, they are drunk and you have won. Easy peasy. Here are some popular rules to spice up the game:
- The Re-rack. After you start hitting a lot of cups, they end up in a weird formation that’s tricky to aim at. So, periodically during the game, you can ask for a re-rack and your opponents will put them into a different formation. Generally, you only get two re-racks a game, but I’ve also seen it played that you can get one at six cups, four cups, three cups, and two cups. Popular formations are the six cup pyramid, a “Princess Di” (4 cup diamond), the three cup mini-pyramid, the three cup vertical or horizontal, and the two cup vertical or horizontal.
- The Bounce. Occasionally, your opponent will be too drunk to exhibit functioning motor skills, or they just won’t be paying attention and you’ll have the opportunity to bounce your ball into their cup as opposed to just throwing it. If you do bounce it in, the other team has to take two cups away instead of just one. However, the opponent is allowed to swat the bounced ball away before it reaches the cup, which leads to a lot of shouting.
- The Blow. Sometimes, the ball will be circling the top of the cup before it goes in, leaving doubt as to whether it will actually sink. If you notice a ball circling the cup, you are allowed to blow directly into the cup so the ball will bounce out instead. Be careful though – if it is deemed that you are interfering with the ball, you may lose an extra cup. Them’s the breaks, kid.
- The NBA Jam Rules. Many people play with rules derived from the video game, NBA Jam. If you hit a cup twice in a row, you have to announce that you are “heating up.” If, after heating up, you hit a third cup in a row, then you announce that you are now, in fact, “on fire.” Once you are on fire, you get to shoot until you miss a cup. Awesome.
- The Rebuttal. It’s the end of the game, your opponents have one cup left, and you still have a bunch because you suck at beer pong. Way to go, ass. Here’s what’s going to go down: if your first opponent hits the last cup, his partner has a chance to throw too. If the second opponent also sinks the cup, the game’s over. However, if only one opponent hits the cup, you’ve got a chance for a rebuttal. You now have the opportunity to shoot until you miss and finish the game. Once you miss, your partner has the same opportunity. If you don’t clear all of the cups, you’ve lost the game. If you do clear all of the cups, then you go into overtime with three cups in and play as before.
There you have it. A quick guide to some beer pong basics. There are tons of other ways to play, including Recovery Pong, Full Contact Pong, etc. There’s lots of rules that can be added to speed up the game as well: you lose a cup if you overshoot the table, the game ends if you and your partner hit the same cup before the opponents have a chance to clear it, the game ends if you sink the ball into the cup your opponent is drinking out of, stuff like that.
So go forth, my budding alcoholics. And don’t let anyone tell you beer pong isn’t fun. People who say that are just bad at team sports. And drinking.