“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.”
Headache, my ass. While this line might have worked well for frigid housewives in the 1950s, a lack of libido in today’s society is a huge deal. If Viagra and Cosmopolitan are any indication, anyone not thinking about sex 24/7 obviously has something wrong with them.
Whoa, time for a reality check: Despite the fact horniness is hardwired into our brain, there are always going to be times when we don’t feel so hot and heavy. Even college students, with all our raging hormones, are bound to loose the urge sometimes. Although low libido is traditionally portrayed as the problem of old men and post-menopausal women, it can affect anybody at any age.
While women can hide their lack of horniness pretty well, it’s a little harder for guys, for obvious reasons. If a dude fails to get it up, it can be a traumatic experience for both him and his partner. The partner worries that they’re not attractive enough, while the let-down dude might make it out to be a bigger deal than it is, leading to erection problems in the future. If you do encounter this situation, the best thing to do is not make a huge scene. A temporary lack of libido is perfectly normal. Wanting to have sex all the time isn’t.
If low libido is a long-term issue, however, you might have a more serious problem. Here are the top eleven factors that can contribute to making sex seem as appealing as eating tacks:
- Stress. Who says that college life isn’t stressful? If you’re feeling the grind, your mind is probably too occupied to think about sex. Some people do use sex or masturbation as a stress reliever, which is fine just so long as it isn’t your only coping mechanism.
- Sleep deprivation. Pulled an all-nighter? I bet you’ll hit the sheets to sleep rather than to do the nasty.
- Hormones. Women feel different levels of horniness based on where they are in their cycle. Ovulation (which is about two weeks after the start of the period) is when libido is at its highest.
- Depression. People suffering from mental depression aren’t interested in anything, including sex. Other symptoms include changes in sleeping and eating habits and excessive crying. If you think that you have depression, make an appointment at CAPS immediately.
- Medication. Believe it or not, the most commonly prescribed anti-depressants, selective seratonin uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can also kill your sex drive. Medications of this type include Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft. Talk to your doctor if you notice a change in your sex drive after starting any medication.
- Birth Control Pills. The hormones in some birth control pills stop ovulation, meaning your sex drive take a dive. Some women joke that that’s why they prevent pregnancy– no sex, no babies, no problem! You might as well skip the pills and be celibate. If your pills are causing problems, ask your doctor for a different one or try a non-hormonal form of birth control. Monophasic pills (the kind that give you the same dosage of hormones every day) are notorious libido-killers while triphasic pills (the dosage changes each week) are actually supposed to make you hornier.
- Performance Anxiety. If it’s your first time with a new partner or just your first time period, you’re bound to feel a little nervous. And when you get nervous all of the blood rushes too your internal organs to protect them, leaving your external parts out of the picture.
- A Medical Problem. Basically anything that inhibits your blood flow will inhibit your ability to have and enjoy sex. Obesity and heart conditions are the main culprits, so get yourself to a doctor to make sure that everything’s working as it should.
- A Psychological Problem. If you have a hang up about the act of sex itself (i.e. you were raised in a religious family or you’ve had a negative sexual experience) then you’re bound to feel less than excited to jump in the sack. You need to get over the barriers in your mind first if you want your genitals to follow. Find yourself a good therapist and talk it out.
- Alcohol. If you’ve ever gotten drunk, you know that your face gets numb. Well, so does everything else. While you might feel hornier, alcohol will actually interfere with your ability to follow through.
- Your Partner. If you’re not sexually attracted to your partner anymore or they’re not supportive, then you’re not going to feel like having sex with them. Find somebody you can click with physically and emotionally.