Disclaimer: This edition of Carnal Knowledge has extreme graphic content and is definitely not safe for work or class.
Ask any straight guy his top five sexual fantasies, and I can almost guarantee that at least one of them involves anal sex. For God knows what reason, most guys have gotten it in their heads that women find this incredibly pleasurable – something tells me it’s the high quality porn they’ve been watching. But while most guys salivate at the thought of venturing into a girl’s no-go zone, they balk at the idea of anything going up their ass.
Why this is still remains a mystery to me. While women have absolutely no erogenous zones in that particular hole, men happen to have a very important one – their prostate gland. Located at the base of the penis and really only accessible through the anus, it’s responsible for expelling semen during orgasm and for storing seminal fluid. Unbeknownst to many men, the prostate is also a highly sensitive sex organ – just think of it as the male G-spot waiting to be discovered.
But mention the prostate gland to guy and they tend to freak out – NOTHING is allowed to go up there except a doctor’s gloved fingers. And then only when they’re old enough to worry about cancer. This possibly stems from the misconception that sticking anything up your ass, even if it’s something as harmless as a finger, automatically makes you gay.
News flash. Having the most intense orgasm of your life, especially if it’s with a girl, does not make you gay. Even if she does have her index finger firmly wedged in between your butt cheeks.
If you are gay, well, you probably have the prostate thing figured out already. If you don’t, read on.
Remember that scene in Road Trip where Stifler has a nurse “help him out” at a sperm bank? That wasn’t Hollywood bullshit, it’s medical fact; men can orgasm from stimulation of the prostate gland alone. Here’s how to do it:
- First, wash your hands. And cut your fingernails. Nobody wants your gnarly talons up their butt.
- Next apply LOTS of lubricant to fingers (repeat after me: the anus is not self-lubricating). KY Jelly works very nicely.
- You can don latex gloves or go without them. Some people are squeamish about going up the ass without a barrier. Just know this: shit doesn’t just chill in your rectum. It’s further up in the intestine. So if you’re freaked out about encountering someone’s nasty business, don’t be. Wear the damn gloves if it makes you feel better (or pop a condom on your finger – which also reduces friction). If you use a special prostate sex toy to access this area, always put a condom on it (or risk breeding some nasty bacteria).
- Get into an accessible position (for most people this means bending over if someone else is doing the dirty work, or lying on your back if you’re doing it yourself). The prostate can also be reached from the front during oral sex.
- Find the prostate gland. The rectum needs to be very relaxed for anything to go up it, so be patient. Relubricate if necessary. Once inside, the prostate, which is about the size of a walnut, is located about two inches inside the rectum, on the front wall. You’ll know when you’ve hit it, or your partner will let you know.
- Using a gentle motion, press down or massage the gland. If you’re doing this to someone else, make sure to ask them what feels good. While a lot of men can orgasm simply from having their prostate gland stimulated, some need a little more attention up front. When all is over and done with, don’t forget to go out the same way you came in – slowly.
If you’re a straight guy, I hope that you’re secure enough in your sexuality to experiment your way to a more intense orgasm. And ladies, don’t let any guy near your ass until they’re willing to let you near theirs.