You’ll remember that last episode switched between the past – season seven finale – and the future – Barney and Robin’s wedding. Today, we’re caught up to the present, with Bob Saget-Ted skipping past the blissfully romantic and uneventful 2012 “Summer of Love” (protip: Google that phrase in relation to HIMYM and you’ll find nothing but what appears to be an 11-chapter fan fiction, which I am not reading in case my roommates monitor our internet history) moving right along to October 2012: “Autumn of Break-ups.” When Barney’s lawyer convinces him ask Quinn to sign a prenuptial agreement, she’s outraged, and rightly so: his draft includes clauses mandating body hair removal, demanding new sex positions and fining weight gain. Though the terms are extreme, Barney’s point is simple: wouldn’t you like to renegotiate some aspect of your relationship? The resulting riff between the two sparks tension in all the show’s current couples, and Narrator Ted primes us with the knowledge that one of the three (because Lily and Marshall are obviously safe) will end their relationship in the ensuing battle of the sexes.
While Barney and Quinn duke it out legally, Ted is insisting Victoria kick Claus out of his apartment. An explanation: an unemployed, loveless and evicted Claus came to Victoria a wreck, and Ted, always willing to play the hero, offered to let him stay. Surprisingly, the problems that arise from this are not rooted in the given weirdness of living with your former ex and again-girlfriend’s new ex (also, why are we continually being given insane roommate circumstances involving people who for Very Apparent Reasons should not be living together?), but rather from the German-ological inexactitude that is Claus. He walks around naked, he raises ferrets and he watches a strange subtitled version of The Odd Couple involving increasingly neat Germans (sound like Sprockets, anyone?). Ted wants out, and Victoria doesn’t like being overruled when it suits him. Meanwhile, Marshall is indignant because Lily won’t let him roughhouse – within reason – with baby Marvin, and Nick is upset because Robin watches basic cable while they’re in bed – though Robin confides in the girls that she’s secretly into looking at her own news broadcast in the moment.
In a heated boardroom encounter featuring Barney’s lawyer’s poor attempts at hitting on Lily, Quinn and her gang of women scorned bring in their own pre-nup, which requires he wear a male shock ring (not to be confused with a shock collar) and would give her custody of Barney’s suits. Sick of the arguing, Barney’s lawyer tells them enough is enough: love isn’t about having power over one another, love is trusting enough to admit to what’s really wrong. Out pour the confessions: Marshall is scared Lily thinks he’s a bad parent, Lily is revisiting abandonment issues from her own father, Ted fears living with Claus means they can’t escape the past, Victoria is only helping Claus because she feels guilty for her happiness with Ted, Robin gets off on watching herself watch herself get off (meta), Nick thinks that’s hot. But though Barney and Quinn agree they’re both being ridiculous, neither is willing to give up their pre-nup – and they realize that even if it’s love, they still don’t trust one another. Fast-forward a little ways down the road, and Barney refuses a pre-nup with his new fiancée: Robin.
While we knew it was coming, and some of us hoped for it, the end of Barney and Quinn still felt a bit anticlimactic. These trust issues were dealt with a season ago (remember Barney being hustled out of thousands of dollars back when Quinn was Karma?), and the return to Barney’s bachelor lifestyle is pretty tired at this point. On the plus side, we’re saved a repeat scenario of Barney and Robin cheating on their respective partners with each other again.
Quotes:
Nick: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it takes 42 inches to keep you satisfied.”