How I Met Your Mother: "Noretta"
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    If there were any truth to the mythical power of lucky numbers, HIMYM’s seventh episode of its seventh season would probably have been a standout show. Instead, the writers focused too intently on whether the characters got lucky, and as a result, “Noretta” was awkward, incestuous, and altogether creepy. It’s probably fitting, however; in a group of friends that open and intimate, it isn’t surprising that everyone knows if, when and how anyone is getting some.

    The gang, Nora and Kevin are squeezed into their regular booth at MacLaren’s with Barney’s visiting brother James (who, unlike Barney, is black, gay and married—and apparently insignificant to the episode, because he gets less than five minutes of screen time). Once Nora is out of earshot, Barney announces they are about to sleep together for the first time, naming an impressive number of NYC transportation hubs as stops along his journey to “Pork Authority.” James, however, is a little unnerved by their relationship, and explains once the two leave that Nora is eerily similar to their mother, Loretta. Cue flashbacks to Barney’s childhood with his mom juxtaposed with Nora’s weird sweet-talking, which is vaguely reminiscent of the girl he seduced with baby talk in Episode 6.6.

    Kevin, who is evidently repenting for last week’s angry psychoanalytical outburst by justifying any and all strange behavior on the part of the group, reasons that it’s normal to pursue a relationship with someone like your parents. This thought starts to eat at Lily, who notices that Marshall is a lot like her dad—something that becomes problematic when Marshall repeatedly tries to make his pregnant wife feel sexy. Every time he makes a move, she pictures her dad in his place. After some time, she tells him exactly what she’s thinking—no secrets with those two—until Marshall can’t help but think the same thing, except he mentally replaces Lily with his father. The two go back and forth, but give up when they imagine both of their dads in bed together.

    Barney and Nora’s romantic night goes disastrously awry—she falls while ice skating and knocks out her tooth, a rat gets caught in her hair, and just when Barney manages to get her to his apartment, they witness a man jump from the top of his building. Never one to back down from a challenge, however, Barney eventually turns it around and things start to get heated. However, it takes Nora singing one of his mother’s favorite songs (an overly-long scene that is strange on so many levels) to get him to see that, yeah, she’s kind of like Loretta. And that does not exactly endear her to him sexually.

    Kevin and Ted tiptoe around each other until Kevin finally loses it (again) and astutely notes that for exes who live together and are basically never apart, their relationship is too close for his liking. But Robin explains that Ted is desperate for company lately, and she’s trying to be a good friend. Ted is highly offended by this pathetic picture of him and nearly cries, but Kevin gets him to perk up by offering to go to take his extra Weird Al concert ticket.

    Later at MacLaren’s, Barney tells them how he overcame the mommy issue: he literally turned it around. But more than that, he realized that his mother was great, and dating someone like her is even better. Marshall and Lily agree that they’re happy to have ended up with their dads, and promptly leave to celebrate in private. Ted tells Robin and Kevin to go on without him, and he’s nearly left alone; but against all laws of the universe, he meets an attractive female Weird Al fan, and he finally isn’t the only lonely member of their pack.

    Rarely am I disappointed by HIMYM; it takes solid writing to lead viewers on a seven-season (thus far) chase to discover a mystery character, and the show is generally consistently funny. The episode, however, is basically footage of the group’s parents making everyone feel uncomfortable—audience included. And anyway, if you have Wayne Brady and Weird Al at your disposal and people aren’t laughing, you definitely have a problem.

    Highlights

    Barney, to some poor unsuspecting child at the ice rink: “Hey kid, you know how your mom won’t let you have ice cream until after dinner? But then the waiting kind of makes it taste better? Well, I’ve been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream. And tonight, I’m going to have sex with it.”

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