Dillimination: Crushing all your Dillo dreams
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    Oh, Dillo Day. Maybe you've been trying to crack Mayfest's code to figure out who they're bringing this year. Or you probably don't give a damn and just want to enjoy the day. I'm personally in the former boat, and so this year, I decided to go the scientific route and go about my guesswork using the process of elimination.

    After days of scouring concert aggregation sites (in case you haven't noticed, these are the kinds of things I nerd out about), I've finally compiled a list of acts who won't be coming to campus based on other obligations on the same day. Granted, some of these artists are probably not fit for Dillo Day in the first place (based on either budgetary confines or the trends of the general types of artists that Mayfest books), but it's fun to think of the possibilities, right?

    So, unless Prince (here's where that aforementioned disclaimer's note comes in) decides to casually drop by Northwestern before his gig in Brisbane on the same day, these are the artists who will not be coming to Dillo Day, categorized by how likely they would be if they were free that day.

    Fairly likely

    Let's start out with the other big festival happening on the West Coast that overlaps with Dillo Day. Sasquatch! Music Festival will be held in George, Wash. on the same weekend, and it'll be taking away some big names that are otherwise pretty fair game for Dillo Day. Of the four-day lineup, artists playing on Saturday, May 26 (Dillo Day) include Blitzen Trapper, Childish Gambino, The Shins, Metric and Jack White.

    If you aren't devastated enough already about not being able to hear Donald Glover "rap" about his body parts, there are a bunch of other actual artists performing the rest of the weekend at Sasquatch! who probably aren't going to make the trek from Washington to Illinois within a day. Included in this group are Feist, Beck, M. Ward, Bon Iver, and a a slew of other people.

    Besides Sasquatch!, there are many other acts who will be having fun elsewhere on May 26 who might otherwise be fit for Dillo Day. In the (roughly) indie rock realm, artists who might play the so-called "chill daytime slot" range anywhere from bigger acts like The Kooks (who will be in Boston) to smaller bands like Japandroids (who will be in the UK) and Thee Oh Sees (who will also be in the UK).

    Last year, this role was taken up by headliners The New Pornographers, who were supported by Peter, Bjorn & John as the smaller act. While lots of acts are booked elsewhere, there are still a plethora of indie acts left to grace our Lakefill. Now it's just a matter of whether Mayfest makes the right decisions and has the right amount of luck to sift through their resources at hand.

    For the night slot, there are also hip-hop acts who will be spitting elsewhere on May 26. Though Drake (who will be performing with J. Cole and Waka Flocka Flame in Pennsylvania) is probably the iffy one in this list based on budgetary confines, LMFAO and Wiz Khalifa have played the college circuits and are probably otherwise likely Dillo candidates if they weren't playing Rosemont, IL and Beirut (what?), respectively. Others on this list include Snoop Dogg (who will be in Missouri), who came to campus last year; Curren$y, who will be playing Ottawa; and the multi-talented comedian/rapper Reggie Watts, who will be in Austin.

    Finally, for the in-between electronic and DJ acts, likely candidates (who are now, I guess, no longer in the running) include Santigold, who will be in Vancouver; Calvin Harris, who will be in the UK; and Neon Indian, who will be in Italy. Others include last year's A&O Ball headliner Girl Talk, who will be in Spokane; Moby (who might be, again, outside budgetary confines) and YACHT, who will be playing the Neon Desert Music Festivalin El Paso; and Shigeto and Shlohmo, who will be in Brooklyn.

    Maybe likely

    Artists under this category fall in the grey area of whether they have the "Dillo Day feel." While they're bigger names, I think these may or may not be artists for whom Mayfest forgoes sending out offers simply because they might not fit in the Dillo Day atmosphere.

    While this is a diverse list, let's just all be thankful we'll be safe from both the heavy drops of Skrillex, who will be in Texas, as well as the eloquent poetry of Mac Miller, who will be in the UK.

    Unlikely

    Then there's just the melting pot of artists who are just too big for Dillo Day, or are Nickelback. Either way, these artists are probably way beyond the budget or clearly don't cater to the Billboard-meets-Pitchfork taste that Northwestern students have.

    Let's get some obvious ones out of the way first. You'll have to head out to New York to satisfy your pre-teen hankering for UK boy wonders One Direction. Once you're done with that, you can satisfy the other emo side of your middle school years at Slam Dunk Festival North in Leeds, UK with the likes of Taking Back Sunday and Mayday Parade and the rest of the Fueled By Ramen family (yes, they still exist).

    There's also Lifehouse in the Philippines to satisfy that third part of your pre-teen years that enjoyed mediocre pop for a while. And if you want to venture even further down memory lane, Sydney will be graced with some washed up 40-year-olds when New Kids (Men?) on the Block headline with near-40-year-olds Backstreet Boys during their horrifically acronym-ed tour, NKOTBSB.

    Then there's the Bayou Country Superfest in Baton Rouge, which will claim Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood, not that you wanted to rock to a country twang at Dillo Day anyway. And of course, the undoubtedly highly-demanded Nickelback will unfortunately be playing Louisville, KY at the awfully named KFC Yum! Center.

    Finally, other big out-of-reach names who won't make it are Jay-Z and Kanye West, who will be in Denmark; Beyoncé, who will be in Atlantic City; Prince, who will be in Brisbane; and Bruce Springsteen, who will be playing two different German cities on May 25 and May 27.

    So, while these lists definitely don't help too much in paring down to a possible lineup, they do eliminate some possibilities (and some farfetched "possibilities"). Now to just wallow in even more anticipation.

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