Biggest news of the weekend? No, not the fact Dillo Day sorta sucked due to a combination of utterly terrible weather and a bunch of cocky musicians killing an otherwise solid music festival (Thanks Cake!). The huge news is that every college student’s favorite social networking site inched a little closer to being a MySpace clone.
Mark Zuckerberg’s monolith Facebook just allowed users the ability to add applications to their profile, akin to the various annoying programs one can add to their MySpace profile. So, if you want to share your favorite song to the world, or show off a real cool slideshow you made, or just display your horoscopes, Facebook’s got an app for you.
The most popular cry over this application addition (JUST LIKE MYSPACE) really doesn’t even scratch the surface of why Facebook’s latest “innovation” blows. Even the people behind National Bingo Night can probably deduce that Facebook is nothing more than a way to show off how many friends you have at your school and maybe to display some “wacky” pictures of you stealing the traffic cone that one night after you had like eight Jager bombs up at Alpha Alpha house. Applications are the logical next step — individualized programs focusing on more specified ways of whoring one’s self out digitally.
The concern, here? How many people are getting behind these things.
Thankfully, a lot of the dumber applications aren’t garnering that much attention from the Planter’s peanut-like brains of Facebook users (which means, idiot tools like the Dogster tool or the insult generator aren’t running rampant through Facebook). But still, plenty of moronic devices are starting to pop up a lot more on my newsfeed. The application juggernaut, unsuprisingly, is iLike, a tool allowing people to show off there favorite music, a favorite pastime of humanity’s (this is the only one I considered getting, mainly so I could look like a dick by showing off how rockin’ my music tastes are). Similarly, various music player applications are getting put to use a lot, along with classic Internet stand-bys such as the Slide Show creator or the mildly creepy “Hot or Not” program (hey random freshman, you look FINNNNNEEEEE).
And then there are the ones which are just plain unneccesary, the applications designed to make people feel smug about how cool they are and show it off to the whole Facebook world. The aforementioned iLike falls into this show-offy category, along with its RTVF cousin, Flickster, which ups the ante by allowing attention-hungry film afficianados the opportunity to review the latest Cineplex offerings (why not just write for a popular online student publication instead?). And don’t even get me going on the “Causes” application. People, just buy a Livestrong bracelet for a buck, wear it and champion the fact you are fighting cancer. A lot less obnoxious.
Maybe my biggest gripe with Facebook (and, by extension, the world) is the Compass application. The idea behind it? You fill out a quick survey about your political leanings, and then you recieve a compass pointing to either “Liberal” or “Conservative,” and how much to that side you are. Now, this, one of the most popular of the new applications, takes the cake for most obnoxious feature on Facebook, edging out former champions like Groups and Religious Views (which allowed “clever” college kids an outlet to criticize religion in funny ways ranging from “hurr I’m not dumb lol” to “I LOVE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER HAHAHA.”) Why do I care that your beloved compass points three inches to the left of the so-called center? Why do you have to bellow out your political affiliation at all, just vote and maybe put a damn sign in your lawn? Why haven’t you tagged me in the “Night of Debauchery 5/24″ album yet?
So yes….Facebook apps….stupid.