Baby, it’s freaking cold outside. But don’t fret, because NBN has just the survival tool for you. In light of the latest polar vortex (pat yourself on the back for surviving, though we know you didn’t go outside during those double feature snow days), we’ve devised a route across campus to ensure that you will survive the next inevitable stretch of arctic temperatures.
Instead of trudging from South to North Campus shiver-twitching and muttering, “I love having four seasons, I love having four seasons” under your breath, maximize your time indoors with this scenic route across campus.
- Kresge
Step outside Kresge. Inhale deeply to dramatically signify that you are ready for this journey. - Cough because you gulped in air that is now freezing your lungs.
- Annie May Swift
Circumvent Annie May Swift. Yes, outdoors. THE BACK ENTRANCE IS A CLASSROOM. I REPEAT: THE BACK ENTRANCE IS A CLASSROOM. Don’t repeat my mistakes, unless you want every head in the class to swivel slowly around and gape at snow-soaked you. - University Library
Walk into University Library, and don’t even bother pulling out your Wildcard. Just walk up the stairs and exit out the other side. Don’t turn toward Norris, instead walk straight on the paved pathway toward Swift. - Swift and Cresap
Enter Swift’s side entrance, where “Mark W. Cresap Laboratory” is etched into the building. Walk through Swift and come out the main entrance. Cut over, briefly outdoors, to Annenberg. Take a moment to realize how delightfully warm you feel thanks to all this time indoors. - Annenberg
Enter Annenberg’s front entrance. Walk down the stairs and leave through the back doors (facing the lake). Turn left and walk toward Ryan Hall. - Ryan
Enter Ryan Hall’s back doors (across from Silverman). After coming through double doors, turn right. Follow the hallway maze of the first floor until you exit the building’s … side entrance? Really, it won’t be clear at this point what is side, front, or back. - Tech
Voila! You are just a short walk from Tech’s back entrance! Admire the neighboring construction that is your gateway to heaven, and duck into your final destination. Congratulations, my friend, and best of luck to you reversing these directions for the route back.
Emergency Solutions:
- Try the windows. Notice that this route only considered doors as viable exits.
- Petition ASG to build an underground tunnel across campus (10K initiative anyone? Hey, I’m still holding out on winning that raffle).
- Pad your entire body in toe warmers.
- You could always download the shuttle tracker app.