North by Northwestern

With the arrival of each Spring Quarter, Northwestern stu- dents look forward to the

same traditional spring season treas- ures year in and year out: walks on the Lakefill, jorts weather and the awesome concerts—and by awesome concerts, we mean abundant public intoxica- tion—of Dillo Day. While the tradition of consuming copious amounts of al- cohol on Dillo continues to reign strong, some of us are simultaneously trying to maintain/obtain/conceptualize a summer beach-bod. So fear not, fitness

freaks—here are a few ways to have your cake (or many cans of Busch Light) and eat it too.

You drink: Two mimosas (331 calories) You do: Approximately 60 minutes of longboarding around campus

Since everyone gets to pretend they’re really #hipster on Dillo Day, longboarding is completely acceptable for anyone looking to sneak in some exercise or just get from Elder back to the Lakefill in less than 15 minutes after a midday nap. Just beware that operat- ing a longboard under the influence of your favorite brunch beverage is easier said than done, so maybe wait for the soberness to set in before attempt- ing this calorie-burner. NBN cannot be held responsible for any scraped knees, faceplants or twisted ankles stemming from LBUI (longboarding under the in- fluence).

You drink: Three shots of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky (324 calories)

You do: Make out with six random strangers for 20 minutes—each—at an off-campus party/tailgate

According to Cosmopolitan magazine, 20 minutes of making out can burn up to 59 calories. According to my cal- culations, it would only take six random, 20-minute makeouts to burn off those delicious, no-chaser-needed Fireball shots you just took with your sorority sisters. So put on those beer goggles, toss on some ChapStick and pucker up to burn a few extra cals during the middle of your day.

You drink: Two Keystone Light beers (208 calories)

You do: Seven laps around the Maple Ave./Gaffield Pl. block while a fraternity party clears out/you think of a brother’s name to drop at the door next time around

“Ah, sorry, man. We’re pretty packed right now, but like, take a lap and we’ll clear some people out.” Though this line, dropped at the front door of many an off-campus fraternity party, is usually a terrible sign, use it on Dillo Day as an opportunity to burn off those two cans of really shitty beer you shotgunned at 8 a.m. Seven laps around an Evanston block adds up to approximately three miles, and at a brisk pace this will burn about210calories.

You drink: Two bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade (440 calories)

You do: 95 minutes of dancing with that random guy from your econ discussion section

Here’s the thing: Even if Sober You doesn’t like dancing, Drunk You probably does. One of the easiest ways you can burn a few extra calories this Dillo is simply by showing off your moves. The music is provided, the atmosphere is perfect, and all your BFFs who you used to dance with at The Keg (RIP) will be congregated at one convenient location. What could be better? So keep your feet moving, throw in a couple of fist pumps and get a little weird while you exercise those sugary Mike’s away.

You drink: 12 ounces of Sunset Blush Franzia (228 calories)

You do: 30 minutes of hula-hooping

Though many of us haven’t picked up a hula hoop since approximately 2004, it’s actually a surprisingly simple and enjoyable fat-blasting workout. So if you’re worried that your early morn- ing Tour de Franzia was a little too in- dulgent, just grab a hoop and get your hips moving. Forgot your hula hoop collection at home? No worries—Mayfest will provide hula hoops on the Lakefill as long as you provide the quality entertainment that comes with drunken hula-hooping.