Dear Tom,
I’m currently in a relationship, and it’s not going so hot. A few years ago,my girlfriend was my dream girl – exciting, fun, with a great perspective on life. Holding her each morning was bliss. Now, it’s just a grind.
She’s nice enough, showing up on my doorstep every morning, but she goes on and on with these really long stories. It’s always about her, I never get a word in. Oh, and she only wears gray too. I don’t think my future is with her anymore, but I’m really scared of losing that security.
And, well, there’s this really cute girl in my journalism class. She makes me laugh and always listens to what I have to say. And to be honest… she has these amazing YouTubes, and some nights all I can think of is clicking on them. Ok ok, I know that’s superficial. But even if it’s not all Important Conversations, she talks to me like an actual person, you know?
The thing is, I really want to be with her but I don’t know how to ask her out. Everything she does seems so amazing. I always get flustered around her and things start crashing.
What should I do?
Trying to reboot my life,
Medill ‘09
Dear Medill ‘09,
It sounds like you’re forcing yourself to be with your girlfriend just because you think it’s good or traditional or something. Or it’s who you always thought you’d get married to.
But you know what? Things change. It’s really hard to let go of a dream, especially one that has kept you going through long nights, but sometimes it has to happen. These days, there are so many people and places out there, and it’s just not worth it to spend your time on things you don’t love.
As for that cute journalism girl, don’t put her on a pedestal! She may be incredible, but standing there in awe with your mouth hanging down doesn’t get you anywhere. Just hang out with her and have fun.
It’s easy to feel intimidated and nervous, but once you start learning about her, I’m sure you’ll have a good time and feel more comfortable too. Who knows where it’ll lead. You’re both in college so I’m sure things’ll change a ton over the next few years, but it’s worth a shot. You won’t regret it.
Good luck!
Tom