With only seven girls left in the running to become America’s Next Top Model All-Star, the contestants faced a challenge no other cycle has attempted: writing their own song and then performing it in a music video. The girls in Cycle 2 did something similar. Well, more like just being backup dancers in a Tyra-centric music video, but this week’s episode was one of the most glorious productions the show has crapped out.
The girls are first introduced to the challenge with a Tyramail from YouTube viral sensation Madison, who sort of just spewed out a bunch of makeup tips. It’s so unfortunate a young girl like her is already dabbling in things like foundation and bronzer. But who really cares when she’s getting tons of views on her videos.
Soon after, Mr. Jay shows up at the house with Tom Polce, a CBS Records producer, who gives the girls a certain allotment of time to listen to tracks pre-produced for them and write lyrics to them.
It’s amusing watching the girls scribble down whatever lyrics they think of on pieces of paper, being that most of them have handwriting that envies that of third graders. It’s even more amusing as the girls sing out a couple of their lyrics, being that most of them have raw singing voices that a third grader would probably cry and pout to.
Allison is having a particularly hard time, as she is sprawled out on the floor stressing herself out to the point of tears. But what first appears to be frustration stemmed from self-doubt, actually turns out to be emotions concerning the recent death of her father. Instead of turning to a party tune that most of the other girls went for, the platinum-blonde beauty decides to write a song dedicated to her dad.
As touching as Allison’s song is, Lisa’s fast beats and experience with the music industry garners her the challenge win, which is a visit from a loved one. Her fiancé; comes to the house, where they kind of just lay on top of each other stroking each other’s hair. They’re next seen under the blanket and the show cuts to a commercial. Hopefully whoever Lisa’s roommate was has been eliminated already.
Replacing the girls’ photo shoot for the week is the production of their music videos. When the girls are all ready to start filming, it is sprung on them that they have to ridiculously use the phrase “pot ledom” in their songs. Most of the girls just add on “pot ledom” at the end of each of their songs. Allison chooses to eerily chant it during her chorus. However, the best use of the phrase is Alexandria’s: “Pot ledom we roll / top model you know / it's backwards fo sho / you silly broke hoes.”
Rapper Game shows up as the girls’ weekly celebrity mentor. And once again, Angelea spazzes out at the prospect of having any slightly-attractive straight male on set, just like from the challenge with the NFL players. However, Game incites such a sincere and heartwarming moment that is rarely seen on this over-produced reality show. He reassures Allison, who has a rather emotional song, using his experiences with his music and the death of his grandmother to help bring a calm to her troubled mind.
Lisa delivers as expected, bringing high energy and skills that most of the other girls lack.
Dominique looks like a drag queen cross between J. Lo and Beyonce, giving her the nick name Jeyonce.
Laura’s music video turns out as if someone was trying to produce a low-budget Taylor Swift porno.
At panel, the girls get to see their finished music videos. Overall, the videos are pretty entertaining. Especially with the clips of Tyra and YouTube personality Keenan Cahill horrendously rapping, obnoxiously edited into the girls’ videos. And as for the auto-tuned tracks, they’ll probably end up being played as a dubstep remix in gay clubs all over.
Although Lisa was close to having first call out in the bag, Allison’s genuine lyrics and piercing eyes bump Lisa to second and herself to first, along with Game straight out saying, "You’re weird," but in the context that it is in fact a trait that sets her apart.
As for the bottom two, the stiff Alexandria and disappointing Angelea end up on the chopping block. However, Alexandria’s utterly awful job gets her eliminated, and saves the ghetto diva from heading back to East Buffalo.