Drinking Game of the Week: 'Boozies'
By

    If you’re of college age and a girl, you have probably seen the movie Newsies, a 1992 live-action Disney musical of epic proportions. It chronicles a newsboy strike in 1899, stars Christian Bale and has reached the coveted spot of cult-classic among most that see it. Only the most informed men that I know actually like the movie. Every male member of my family hates it with a passion and hates the part of me that loves it. So, this drinking game is probably best suited for a girls’ night, or for a night when your male companions are either a) theater majors, b) amazingly accommodating, or c) drunk enough to not notice that they are watching a musical.

    Boozies

    1. Breaking into song. Obvious a prerequisite for any musical-based drinking game. Pick a character at the beginning of the movie and drink twice any time they have a solo.
    2. Terrible attempt at a New York accent. Sorry, Newsies. But some of you are just terrible. I’m talking any time a word is nearly unrecognizable. Mostly words like “boid” (bird), “goil” (girl), or “Noo Yawk” (New York). Drink twice when a line should be spoken with an accent and isn’t.
    3. Questionably homoerotic gestures. Newsies sharing beds. Newsies touching inappropriately. Newsies sending lovelorn looks each other’s ways. Drink!
    4. References to Teddy Roosevelt. This movie has taught me that TR was the shit back in 1899. Drink twice if TR is on screen.
    5. Glamorizing homelessness. This movie has also taught me that being homeless is not half bad. These kids seem happy, parents or no parents.
    6. Pulitzer prize. Drink any time Pulitzer is on screen, being the necessary antagonist. Drink twice any time he makes a dumb sound. Drink twice any time you can make a literary joke involving the Pulitzer prize.
    7. Sarah’s boobs. They seem to change size throughout the movie. I’m not saying I noticed, I’m just saying those high waistlines really draw attention to the jugs. Little sip anytime they look abnormally small, big sip anytime they look abnormally large.
    8. Missed cue or dancing mishap. Anytime someone falls, arrives late or messes up during a dance, drink. Not even the Newsies are infallible.
    9. Refuge. Drink twice when the main action occurs at the refuge, but drink and yell out “REFUGE” any time the damn place is referenced.
    10. Oddly choreographed fight sequence. Drink to obvious stage punches, misplaced sound effects, mysterious bruises, delayed reactions to nut-shots. Anything unbelievable.
    11. Street life maturity. Drinking, smoking, gambling, and anything else that is generally frowned upon for the 12 to 18-year-old crowd.

    Comments

    blog comments powered by Disqus
    Please read our Comment Policy.