If you’re of college age and a girl, you have probably seen the movie Newsies, a 1992 live-action Disney musical of epic proportions. It chronicles a newsboy strike in 1899, stars Christian Bale and has reached the coveted spot of cult-classic among most that see it. Only the most informed men that I know actually like the movie. Every male member of my family hates it with a passion and hates the part of me that loves it. So, this drinking game is probably best suited for a girls’ night, or for a night when your male companions are either a) theater majors, b) amazingly accommodating, or c) drunk enough to not notice that they are watching a musical.
Boozies
- Breaking into song. Obvious a prerequisite for any musical-based drinking game. Pick a character at the beginning of the movie and drink twice any time they have a solo.
- Terrible attempt at a New York accent. Sorry, Newsies. But some of you are just terrible. I’m talking any time a word is nearly unrecognizable. Mostly words like “boid” (bird), “goil” (girl), or “Noo Yawk” (New York). Drink twice when a line should be spoken with an accent and isn’t.
- Questionably homoerotic gestures. Newsies sharing beds. Newsies touching inappropriately. Newsies sending lovelorn looks each other’s ways. Drink!
- References to Teddy Roosevelt. This movie has taught me that TR was the shit back in 1899. Drink twice if TR is on screen.
- Glamorizing homelessness. This movie has also taught me that being homeless is not half bad. These kids seem happy, parents or no parents.
- Pulitzer prize. Drink any time Pulitzer is on screen, being the necessary antagonist. Drink twice any time he makes a dumb sound. Drink twice any time you can make a literary joke involving the Pulitzer prize.
- Sarah’s boobs. They seem to change size throughout the movie. I’m not saying I noticed, I’m just saying those high waistlines really draw attention to the jugs. Little sip anytime they look abnormally small, big sip anytime they look abnormally large.
- Missed cue or dancing mishap. Anytime someone falls, arrives late or messes up during a dance, drink. Not even the Newsies are infallible.
- Refuge. Drink twice when the main action occurs at the refuge, but drink and yell out “REFUGE” any time the damn place is referenced.
- Oddly choreographed fight sequence. Drink to obvious stage punches, misplaced sound effects, mysterious bruises, delayed reactions to nut-shots. Anything unbelievable.
- Street life maturity. Drinking, smoking, gambling, and anything else that is generally frowned upon for the 12 to 18-year-old crowd.