Clarification appended
One round of ASG voting just wasn’t enough, apparently. Bill Pulte and Mike McGee ran closely enough to force a run-off vote, scheduled for this Friday. If you were one of the record 4,455 voters who cast a ballot, I’m sure you already have your mind made up (except for the Luke Adams crowd and the 18 of you who voted for Dickie Humps; find a new outlet for your expression). But for everyone else who forgot to vote or could care less about ASG elections (here!) and who suddenly feel spurred to participate in student democracy, who should you vote for? Sure, you could focus on the issues or which candidate’s platform would benefit you most, but BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING.
Thankfully, the two candidates remaining both have faux-rap videos online devoted to them. Forget matters of substance. Which candidate can spit the hottest fire? Well, in this case, neither candidate actually drops any verses, so it comes down to who has the best MC repping them. First up, the rap about Mike McGee:
The “Fresh Prince” beat seems played out at first, but whoever put this together mixed it up, adding a new twist to an old classic. The lyrics focus on positive change, casting McGee as the conscious candidate. Some of the rhymes are whack (“We got a new president, his name is Schapiro / that means change, there’s nothing to fear-o”), but it’s overall a very upbeat number about making Northwestern a better place. But not stupid upbeat, like that will.i.am Obama song. How about the Pulte rap?
OK, you probably figured out Bill Pulte in no way endorses this, especially since it explicitly tells you not to vote for Bill Pulte. Plus, it’s loaded with spelling errors. And that’s probably good, because if he seriously made a parody of the already-a-parody “I’m On A Boat,” he’d lose the valuable Netplay demographic (hey all six of you!). However, this Pulte diss does raise a valid point: was Bill Pulte in anyway involved with the Pike atrocity “Fratstar?” Did he contribute vocals? Did he give it his approval? Did he not just say “seriously guys, cut it out?” If it is revealed that Mr. Pulte is anyway associated with or not physically repulsed by “Fratstar,” he should pull out of this run-off election and record a heartfelt apology rap.
Obviously, deciding who to cast your presidential ballot for based on rap videos is stupid. But as a senior who has absolutely no stake in this election, I encourage you to follow your heart and vote for the candidate with the better song.
(And since Bill Pulte didn’t actually get a positive video featured in this post, I’ll give him a plug here. Well, sort of, because this pro-Pulte ad features all the hallmarks of a “The More You Know” spot.)
Clarification, 2:37 a.m.: This story has been clarified to reflect the fact that 4,455 students cast ballots, and 4,421 of those ballots were eligible. Thanks to Election Commissioner Paul David Shrader for the clarification.