Pop Culture Confessional is a weekly column where our writers can divulge and indulge in their most deeply embarrassing cultural passion — and then tell you why it actually rocks. Everyone has a few dirty little secrets. Only the truth shall set us free.
It was the ultimate showdown in the bedding aisle at Bed Bath & Beyond.
“Absolutely not,” was my mother’s irrevocable decision.
“Do you really want to give the kids another reason to make fun of you?” my dad wanted to know.
But I needed that Miley Cyrus comforter, dammit, and I had no shame in bringing it to college.
Many don’t understand, but I pride myself on being the biggest Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana fan over the age of seven. The inevitable backlash and insults have become somewhat of a white noise in my daily routine. But I bet if the naysayers really gave her a chance they would see her true brilliance shine through — or at the very least, they wouldn’t make quite so many “I Hate Miley” Facebook groups. There are so many reasons to love her.
She makes bank.
She’s made herself into one of the most recognizable brands in the country. I’ve seen her cherubic little face plastered on virtually every wall at Claire’s. Call it Billy Ray pimping her out, but she’s pretty marketing-savvy. Lip gloss and glittery extensions are crack for the tweenage set, and Miley knows how to work their parents’ pocketbooks. Even in a recession she knows how to hustle, and you have to give her credit where it’s due.
She’s a fierce triple threat.
She sings (thank God for voice enhancers), she dances, she acts (because Disney Channel is where all the next Meryl Streeps are born). Miley is the kind of kid who probably bears deep emotional scars from performing at such a young age, but you’d never know it when she’s rocking out onstage. Her concerts are huge spectacles and tickets almost always sell out in hours. And she doesn’t stop there. Her hit TV show, Hannah Montana, in which she plays a teenager with multiple personality disorder, has tons of shenanigans to keep her fans entertained. Sure she’s plain ol’ Miley Stewart by day, but by night, she’s a superstar! Whether you think that she can do these things well is another issue. The point is, she’s made a solid career out of doing what she loves best. And isn’t that the American Dream after all?
But she’s just like you!
A self-described goofball, Miley messes up just like the rest of us, making her fun and relatable. On her show she falls for bad boys and doesn’t always listen to her dad’s advice. Okay, so she did a grinding routine on a combination ice cream cart-pole at the Teen Choice Awards. But really, what God-fearing, purity ring-wearing, 16-year-old tween sensation hasn’t? Like she sings in “See You Again,” she’s just being Miley! Her down-to-earth attitude is further exhibited in Hannah Montana: The Movie. (Spoiler Alert!) Even though she lives her life in the fast lane of celebritydom, she still learns to embrace her Tennessee roots and discovers the true meaning of home. What a kid.
She’s a role model for the kiddies.
From her work with Youth Service America to Disney’s Friends for Change, she keeps it real by showing her peers how simple being a good citizen is. When she’s not being charitable, you can still find her reading her Bible on her tour bus or mentoring her younger siblings. You won’t find this one boozing it up on Sunset Boulevard (I’m looking at you, Lohan).
She’s the greatest guilty pleasure.
Sure, you say you hate her, but you know that when “Party in the USA” comes on, you get the urge to “throw your hands up” right along with Miley. She’s utterly, deliciously infectious and it’s better to just go ahead and embrace it.
I envision a world where my love for Miley doesn’t have to be so wrong. But this world could be closer than I know. Just a few weeks ago I saw a girl in Tech with a Hannah Montana Secret Rockstar backpack. Maybe I’m not so alone after all. Maybe there is hope.