What’s grinding your gears? Writer Julia Haskins has the answer to that question. In what, according to Haskins, is not at all a shameless rip-off of Family Guy, she will explore the unsettling and downright upsetting issues concerning civil rights, human rights and political correctness.
Currently Grinding My Gears: Unfair assumptions about female sexuality
Sarah Jessica Parker’s overt bubbliness and obnoxious fashion sense aside, I was never a fan of Sex and the City. But I sure as hell can’t deny that Kim Cattrall, who plays the outrageous Samantha Jones, was ridiculously hot, and not just for a “woman her age.” The fact that she was an attractive, unapologetically sexual being who just happened to be over 40 hardly seems worth stopping the presses for, but it’s the same inane double standard that has made Hugh Hefner the stuff of pimp legend and Demi Moore a rabid mountain lion pouncing on Ashton Kutcher. It’s a seductive fantasy, but it’s not all that her character is meant to represent and it’s not all there is to Cattrall in real life.
Upon hearing her name, a score of assumptions come to mind, mostly concerning sex. After being synonymous with a show largely about sex for so long, it’s to be expected that she would be somewhat associated with the erotic persona she shockingly and hilariously embodied while on the show. But that sexual empowerment has been reduced to an image of her as merely a hot “older” woman obsessed with getting into younger men’s pants, on and off-screen.
According to Cattrall, she was asked by “a significant magazine for women over 40” to pose with a cougar (Get it? Cougar? Because she’s old!) Cattrall refused, and the deal was off. Never mind that Cattrall may have had some qualms about posing with an animal or that the whole concept is a blatantly lame attempt at cleverness. Because she wouldn’t succumb to negative female stereotypes, Cattrall was booted, but her dignity was unscathed.
Cattrall obviously takes pride in playing Samantha, as she challenges age and gender norms and is totally comfortable in her sexuality. “I don’t think that she stands or sits in bars waiting for young men to prey on, and I think that’s something that a lot of people who are uncomfortable with strong women have labeled her,” Cattrall said in an interview with Extra. While confidence in one’s sexuality isn’t all there is to being a strong woman, it certainly is important. Such boldness can be intimidating to some people, especially when such women don’t fit in the conventional package of hotness.
“What we’re doing is stretching sexual appeal for more…and more years,” said Nicholas Davis, Assistant Professor of English and Gender Studies. “As actresses get older I guess I can see where that can be good, but it also seems like it can forestall any other way of making actresses or women in their 40s or 50s visible to a big commercial audience or on any terms besudes sexuality.” The more Cattrall is portrayed in a sex-positive perspective, the less seriously she is taken, even when her message is one of female empowerment.
What’s most annoying is the inaccuracy of the situation. Based on what knowledge I do have of the show, Cattrall’s character Samantha does have sex with younger men, but she’s not stalking barely-legal boys, either. She’s badass enough to get whoever she wants, regardless of age.
“There have been all kinds of ways in which I think she has pretty overtly played into that [sexuality], which is her right, but it’s not a surprise I think that people do conflate in those ways,” said Davis.
In real life, yes, she still has sex, but she isn’t ravenously devouring the helpless lambs of young male Hollywood. She has had many relationships, but the only ones that matter are those with significant age differences. In a Yahoo! Biography, her relationships are listed with the first being Alan Wyse, who is described only as “20 years her junior.” Any serious affection she has for a younger man is seen as just another cougar fling.
It’s scary to think how women are so rigidly pigeon-holed in the media. An actress can either be a young bombshell or a once-was who still looks good “for her age.” Fortunately, Cattrall is well rounded in her role as a strong woman. She’s not only sexy, but also intelligent and articulate. “I really take umbrage to the code cougar,” Cattrall told Extra. “I think that cougar has a negative connotation, and I don’t see anything negative about Samantha and sexuality and sensuality and choice.”
If sexuality is the ultimate definition of both men and women, we’re not taking into account everything else that makes us human. Cattrall is much more than a character she plays on TV, but sweeping generalizations about the intersection of age and sexuality are all around us. In shows like Cougar Town and The Cougar (no, really), vivacious, sexually uninhibited “older” women are distorted into sluts and become the butt of bad jokes about AARP. No one should be made to feel bad about who he or she is attracted to.
“The media probably has a responsibility to focus less on people’s personal relationships period,” said Davis. “There’s so much more coverage of who’s with whom or whether quote-on-quote ‘the public’ thinks it’s OK or not than there really needs to be.”
Love and lust are strange concepts that don’t tend to follow strict guidelines, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Cattrall’s fight is far from over, but here’s to hoping that Sex and the City 2 will be as scandalous as ever.