What’s the greatest invention ever? If you answered electricity, the automobile, or Go-gurt, you lose. If you yelled out, “Internet!”, you win. Where else can you read about the history of Old El Paso-brand taco shells, listen to Alanis Morissette sing “My Humps,” and cap it all off by sending your buddy in Australia a picture of a man detaching his own rectum. Every other human invention, from democracy to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, pales in comparison to the World Wide Web.
To me, the Internet rocks because it allows me to download all the slobbering, hairy, moan-worthy videos I want. I’m, of course, talking about cute animal videos. Since my masculinity was compromised a long time ago, I have no shame in admitting I could care less when someone posts a video of an exploding car, but a 30-second clip of a puppy wearing a party hat – I’ll skip class for that. I’ve abandoned vibrant social discussions about what to drink that night for a YouTube clip of a duck waddling around aimlessly.
So, to properly honor the art form, I present my favorite adorable-animal videos. I set a few guidelines. Any video I’ve posted in Netplay was off-limits, including classics such as keyboard cat, shopping penguin and adorable Corgi. I’m a fan of diversity, so I tried to find as many different types of animals as I could. And finally, don’t expect long descriptions. I’m talking about fuzzy animals, not War and Peace.
10. Itchy Koala
This marsupial has a lot in common with people: Both species have an extremely hard time scratching away our itches. But what makes this so gasp-worthy? The way the little fella wiggles his ears.
9. Dogs in Costume
I’m usually against lazy YouTube photo montages and adamantly opposed to dogs in costumes of any sort. But this video is just too fuzzy-cute to ignore. Really, the dog dressed up as an airplane made me almost “Ahhh!” my brains out. And just look at those business-card offers. So many cards for so little!
8. A Family of Quacks
Packs of pretty animals beat out solo cuties anytime, and doubly so when it’s a family of pure hug-worthy-ness. That’s why these super-cute ducks waddling around some person’s driveway makes the list. Baby animals are the H-bomb of cuteness.
7. Purrfect Massage
Two species coming together for peace is a great story. Two species doing something adorable together – even better! Here’s one for both dog and cat fans.
6. Two Bunnies Better Than One
In my hometown there were rabbits everywhere, and these floppy-eared fellows became one of my favorite animals. This video features two bunnies eating food. TWO ADORABLE BABY RABBITS. I almost got written up by the CA for screaming for joy so loudly.
5. Ahhh, a Doggy!
There are hundreds of cute dog videos on YouTube, and I could pick nearly any of them. So here’s a compilation set to one of the most god-awful songs I’ve ever heard. Thanks go to Managing Editor and dog enthusiast Spencer Kornhaber for finding this one.
4. High-Speed Hamster
Cute doesn’t always have to be a bug-eyed mammal sitting down, staring at the camera and then maybe running in a circle. No, watching a fuzzy little mammal try its darndest to accomplish something but fail can be just as adorable. Here we have a hamster entering a turbo-speed hamster wheel. Just look at the determination in his little hamster eyes. Then… just watch. And don’t tell PETA.
3. PUPPIES
Confession time: I could put any cute-animal video in this spot and it would make perfect sense. I’m use this as an excuse to search for small, fuzzy animals. I came to this revelation after searching for “golden retriever puppies” and getting approximately a million videos teeming with adorable doggies. This may be the hardest list I’ve ever constructed, because I spent 10 minutes debating whether to use this video or one featuring golden retrievers playing with a pillow. My life isn’t so easy after all.
2. Cat in a Box
Some user comments about this video:
“the cutest thine EVER!!!! I wanna cryyyyyyyyyyyyy” – kalamena25
“This video is THE SHITZZZ!!! I luv dis video, man it is so DAM CUTE!!! Shouts outs to all the kittens filmed in this video, I LUV IT!!!” – viksterz
“Don’t you just love how near the start the kitten on the left gets totally distracted by an itch and just has to scratch it. Great choice of music too. I bet that in an hour or so those little kittens were curled up together counting Z’s. “ – kingdaniel69
“lol! its like gosh you fatass get out of the box! “ – BittersweetSymphony
1. BABY POLAR BEAR
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