Drinking in and of itself is a game. But like most fun things, it is more fun if you participate in more than one fun thing at the same time. Drunk bowling. Drunk dancing. Drunk television-watching. There is nothing better than watching television while inebriated: the more obscure the show, the better. This week, I introduce to you the Sarah Hayden-Pat Maguire patented drinking spin-off from the hit Nickelodeon show Are You Afraid of the Dark.
Rules:
Take a drink any time one of the following occurs. As in all drinking games, rules are open to interpretation to ensure that you get as drunk as you want.
- Fog machine used to inspire fear in the audience. Apparently the scariest thing that had been invented in the early 90s was the fog machine. You could play this game using only this rule and get drunk after one well-chosen episode.
- Pseudo-celebrity sighting. Take two drinks for anyone for which this show was probably the height of their careers. Two drinks for kids that later appeared on Degrassi. Some examples: Bobcat Goldthwait (The Tale of the Final Wish), Melissa Joan Hart (The Tale of the Frozen Ghost), Neve Campbell (The Tale of the Dangerous Soup), Ryan Gosling (The Tale of Station 109.1), Tia and Tamera Mowry (The Tale of the Chameleons), Elisha Cuthbert (The Tale of the Night Shift), Hayden Christensen (The Tale of Bigfoot Ridge), Tara Lipinski (The Tale of the Lunar Locusts).
- Parenting mishaps. For all the kids left home alone, parents who don’t question odd behavior, and anything that remains questionable.
- Prepubescent hijinks. Usually found in the first five minutes of the episode before things get weird. Any sort of prank you would expect from your sixth-grade brother.
- Awkward moment between lovers. Drink twice for any implied sexual tension between parents, siblings, ghosts and the living, etc. Believe me, it’s there.
- Sardo or Dr. Vink. Drink twice any time Sardo says “No mister, accent on the ‘do’” which is almost always. When Dr. Vink is on screen, you must precede all drinks with “Drink to Vink!” otherwise drink twice.
- Audible Canadian accent. Aboot to the max.
- First appearance of villain. Integral to the plot. Drink.
- Bad 90’s haircut. Drink twice if you had a similar haircut growing up.
- Inappropriate emotional response. Far too often do these kids see killers or ghosts and respond as if they’ve recently had a frontal lobotomy.
- Cut to the campfire. In the middle of the story. Total buzzkill.
- Life lesson or obvious moral. Because Nickelodeon is a learning channel.
Personally, my roommates and I prefer to play this game with a box of Franzia because the irony abounds, but literally any drink will do. Probably not safe to do shots of liquor, as you will drink far too much and I don’t want to be responsible for any alcohol-and-AYAOTD-related deaths.
Cheers.