Wrestlepocalypse IV, directed by Dan Lazar and Mario Batres, will be presented in Shanley Pavilion May 27-28 by Vertigo Productions. We had a chance to sit down with the referee of the show, Charlie Scaggs (played by Communication sophomore Ned Baker), or “The Tramp” as he’s known in the world of Wrestlepocalypse.
“My name is Charlie Scaggs, but you may call me “The Tramp.” I hail from the lowest gutters and alleyways of London where I was raised as a street fighter to no extreme success. And I made my way over here to officiate the underground wrestling circuit of Wrestlepocalypse in America.”
How did you get involved in Wrestlepocalypse?
After I was kicked out of the back alley bare-knuckle boxing league, I made my way to America and worked a film career for a while. Failed at that for attacking my fellow actors, I made my way to the wrestling industry, where I found, you know, the class, the decency that I’ve been looking for; the real kind of people that I want to spend my time with. And now I am the name known far across the world of wrestling, synonymous with order, discipline and a measure of, you know…class.
As the referee, do you yourself engage in any of the bouts?
I maintain order in Wrestlepocalypse. I bring the class, but I’m not afraid to kick some arse…just made that one up. I make sure everybody does things the way I want ‘em to in Wrestlepocalypse, and if they don’t, I’m not afraid to throw down, for it is the Tramp’s house. The square circle is my arena, and I am in charge there. I am the god, and the wrestlers are but my little subjects, who will be allowed to bash each others’ heads in as they please, as long as they do it the way I ask them to, following the exact rules set down at the beginning of the match.
What’s special about this year’s Wrestlepocalypse? Are there new wrestlers every year?
I’ll tell you what’s special about Wrestlepocalypse this year: all sense of dignity has gone out of the fucking thing. I don’t know who’s running the show. I don’t know who’s making the rules, but I know I’ll be calling them. The whole thing is chaos, man. The whole thing’s just gone ridiculous. We have the real scum of the Earth wrestling this year, and it fills the soul with equal parts thrill and disgust. It will be so awesome, you’ll want to vomit. But you’ll want to know that if you’re sitting in the first three rows, you might get hit with a glass bottle or a steel chair. It happens. I try and keep it together, but I’m only one man, right?
Any prospects for taking the championship belt?
Well, Mr. CJ Cage is a wrestler that I encountered last year, and I can tell you [he] is just about the biggest douchebag ever. He makes me seem sweet and considerate by comparison. The man thinks he’s God. The man thinks he’s perfection. But I swear to the real God that I’m gonna keep him in check. But the man, he’s got a shot at the heavy weight belt, I think. It could be a hot mess, as they say.
Do you feel that, as opposed to skill or honor, being a douchebag helps you the most in Wrestlepocalypse?
Well, having inhibitions is certainly going to not help you at all. The douchebags have a certain way of going out there for what they think they deserve. But it does make for a good show, I’ve found. You need skill and douchebaggery in about equal proportions, I’d say, to really advance in the world of Wrestlepocalypse. It’s a secret ingredient.
Wrestlepocalypse is on Dillo Day Eve. Do you or any of the other wrestlers have plans for Dillo Day?
Uh, making my way to the hospital is my best guess. But if we’ve got some wounds, who knows what substances may be required to stem the pain. You do what you have to in those desperate circumstances.
As a merciless, blood-thirsty fighter…are you a fan of Regina Spektor?
Regina Spektor? Oh the things I wouldn’t do to that woman. That’s all I can say. I hear she does music too.
Why should someone come see Wrestlepocalypse IV?
It’s going to be so awesome, it will turn your brain into shit and blow it out your asshole. I don’t know if you can print that.