The internet is a step removed from reality. Twenty people out of a hundred might comment on a cute animal blog, but they would all ooh and ahh if they saw that Pudú IRL. The fact that Facebook’s upgrades (or downgrades — how about those photos?) provoke so much discussion underscores how phenomenally we pledge our allegiance to the United Networks of blue, white and Klavika.
Facebook added “civil union” and “in a domestic partnership” to their list of relationship statuses today. It’s a savvy PR move. After consulting their Network of Support, Facebook coded in two extra lifestyles that might annoy some conservatives, but is unlikely to make them to delete their accounts. The Washington Post, after all, lost a whopping 27 subscribers this summer when they ran a photo of a gay couple kissing on the front page.
Besides, if user metrics were a factor, Facebook knows who butters their bread: A study this summer found that 73 percent of homosexual adults have a Facebook account compared to 65 percent of heterosexual adults.
Whether this was an economic decision, a moral consideration or some combination of the two, I have no idea. But it’s what the change means for users that matters.
Every time I see the words “civil union” I cringe a little. It’s impossible to deny how life-changing civil union legislation has been for gay couples. I’m glad they can tout their commitment with these new statuses, and research indicates exposure to homosexuality increases acceptance for it. But I don’t just want to enter into a legal contract with with my boyfriend one day — I dream about marrying him and enjoying all the social normalcy that confers.
I also feel a little guilty for caring. Facebook wants to define my life and I’m not totally comfortable with that. I began one relationship with a late night Facebook message. I have also dumped someone by changing my status on Facebook. I am proud of neither.
After that ignoble breakup I decided to stop playing Relationship games. Instantiating my boyfriend online came from a desire to show him off. I was looking for validation in verification.
I’m in a long-term relationship now, and we still haven’t changed our statuses. He barely uses Facebook, and I’ve learned my lesson, right? Well, he’s also not out to his family. I wonder if “civil union” will ever be an option, and I’ve pushed him to give me an answer. I want to embrace what we have now, but I hate that the choice is off the table.
Civil unions and domestic partnerships are obviously different than college flings. And marketers can now ensure lucky couples will see even more shirtless men and women in their advertising sidebar. Facebook’s decision makes sense. But those who don’t need the practical benefits of a civil union shouldn’t worry too much about a relationship status, online or off. Keep fighting for equal rights, but don’t fight over love that’s already there.