The flowers are blooming and the grass is green again. Yup, it’s mating season — but this week, instead of romantic young lovers courting each other, it was Northwestern flirting with the first batch of prospies. I’m not sure we got our game right this time, though, because this was an odd week for showing off and attracting fresh meat.
For example, throughout this week, whenever I passed the Rock, I was asked if I wanted someone to pray for me. Each time, I turned them down, but in hindsight, I should have asked them to get their friends-in-high-places to watch over the prospies at Hundo and the Keg. They really should learn at an early age.
Perhaps the pinnacle of Northwestern’s failed attempt at flirtation was Mt. Trashmore, the huge pile of garbage organized by SEED and others to demonstrate how much waste the university produces in six hours. While it was for a good cause, we hope it wasn’t misconstrued by wealthy (and judgmental) “prosparents” as a real-life metaphor of our Northwestern existence.
Campus was particularly deluged with the younger generation on Thursday, when Take Your Daughter to Work Day was celebrated. Little girls sporting bright yellow totes pranced about Sheridan Road. Were they cuter than the prospies? Not a chance.
And in two closely related bits of news, Willie the Wildcat tryouts took place this week, and Northwestern’s very own chess club, 64 Squares, dominated a Midwest college chess tournament. How are these disparate topics related? Willie and lovable nerdiness are both embodiments of Northwestern pride.
This week, fundraising for Relay for Life, a 24-hour relay benefitting the American Cancer Society, has been evoking flashbacks (and post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms) of canning and otherwise selling souls to raise cash for DM. We know you have good intentions, guys, but when will you realize we’ve already scraped the bottom of the starving-college-student barrel?
In less morbid news, the administration has decided to fund Saturday Intercampus Shuttles, proving that protest Facebook groups really do work. Quick, someone go tell will.i.am that he doesn’t have to try so hard!
The prospie mating dance may not have worked out this week, Northwestern, but don’t worry: You’ll have other chances to fan your peacock tail or show off your bright red rump.