First of all, what a halftime show yesterday. (If you turned on the Lingerie Bowl or went for a walk during halftime, go to YouTube right now and watch it.) I expected a train wreck. Instead, Prince treated millions of viewers to the most spectacular halftime show in recent memory. And when the lights dimmed and the stage went purple…awesome. As a closet fan of “Purple Rain,” I’ll remember that for a long time.
In honor of Prince, here’s a Super Bowl-themed track listing of Prince’s famous Purple Rain album. Each song is dedicated to a different player or event during yesterday’s game.
“Let’s Go Crazy“: To the rainy, unpredictable Miami weather, which played a role in producing five fumbles between the two teams and had players slipping all over the field.
“Take Me with U“: To Colts cornerback Kelvin Hayden, who picked off an errant Rex Grossman pass for a Colts touchdown, taking with him all hopes of a Bears upset. Hayden, incidentally, grew up in Chicago and played for Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner at Illinois.
“The Beautiful Ones”: To the Colts cheerleaders. Yes, I know the Bears don’t have cheerleaders out of tradition, but maybe that needs to change.
“Computer Blue“: To Colts QB Peyton Manning, who dissected the Bears ‘D’ with ruthless, emotionless precision. Ironically, Peyton has finally shed the “emotionless” and “boring” labels that have dogged him for years with this victory.
“Darling Nikki“: This song inspired Tipper Gore to push for stronger government controls over explicit music (you know, the “Parental Advisory” labels on CD’s). That’s why I’m giving this one to Grossman’s criminally bad throwing mechanics. I just hope all the innocent children out there missed some of his more errant throws.
“When Doves Cry“: To Devin “Any Time” Hester, not just for his ridiculous return, but for what must have been a disappointing return to the city where he became a college superstar. The Colts took him out of the game by shanking kickoffs and banking on the Bears’ inability to take advantage of good field position.
“I Would Die 4 U“: This one’s tough. I’ll go with the entire Bears defense for fighting for 60 minutes and keeping Chicago in the game for as long as possible, especially against one of the best offenses ever and without two Pro Bowl starters.
“Baby I’m a Star”: To Colts RB Joseph Addai. The rookie ran the ball 19 times for 77 yards and picked up another 66 on 10 catches. Indy fans are probably asking, “Edgerrin who?”
“Purple Rain”: Aaah, the grand finale. This one goes out to all the long-suffering Bears fans out there. We gritted our teeth through every “Good Rex”/”Bad Rex” story, every poor defensive effort, every nail-biter…only to fall short at the very end. The good news, of course, is that this team is one piece away from making it to the top. Is Grossman the answer to the Bears’ woes? Will the Bears sign a free agent this off-season? Who knows. But for the rest of the NFL, the Bears aren’t going anywhere soon.