It’s finally time for everyone on campus to have some semblance of a housing plan. Prospective students, of course, are flailing about without a clue, as is tradition, facing one of the most important decisions they’ll make here: where to live. As upperclassmen, we’ve figured that bit out, which brings us to the second most important decision: what to put in your habitat.
As I’ve recently discovered, a couch should be at the top of that list, decreasing the number of feet and butts on your bed, and improving your hosting abilities. But if you want to make a statement, don’t cop out with an Ikea futon. Check out these supersofas that will make your living situation totally boss, even if your housing number was 2000.
For the techie or design student
Celebrating the changes in art and design since everything became digital, designer Cristian Zuzunagahis has decorated a conventional couch with pixels. The pixelated couch is covered in colored squares, which resemble a super-zoomed-in computer image. Journalism majors and former emo kids, get on this: It’s the kind of in-joke that Photoshop hounds will understand.
For anyone who hates their roommate
While I don’t think I should actually condone the purchase of this sit-upon, I’m going to throw caution to the wind and encourage everyone to buy the “Cowch.” The name is not deceptive: It is a giant, stuffed cow that you can sit on. Plus, creator Helga Tacreiter began the project to help pay to keep six orphaned calves alive. Whether you’re a farm kid missing home or a would-be cow-tipper living the dream, it’s worth sacrificing a desk, and a dresser or two, to fit this baby into a dorm room.
For anyone nostalgic for Reeboks
In the 1990s, someone made the connection that sneakers were cool, and air pumps were cool, so sneakers that you pump must be totally badass. This was a logical leap, and I have no doubt the resulting pump-up Reeboks contributed greatly to my and everyone else’s athletic prowess in elementary school. The same principle has been applied to futons in the Eclosion, which you unzip and inflate to make a couch, and deflate to flatten as a mattress. Clearly, it’s more useful to basketball players in inflated couch form.
For people who care about cars
I am not one of them. But I know they’re out there. So if you care about cars, here’s one made into a couch.
For commitment-phobes
Having a couch that’s just a couch can be limiting. What if you want a loveseat? What if you want a chair? A circular couch? A table? Some people don’t want to be tied down to one piece of furniture. These people will love the versatility of this magic couch, demonstrated below, which can be all of these things and more. It can expand to fit your dorm room, or shrink to fit your mess. Sounds like a win-win to me.
For the gamer
This adds new depth to that stereotypical image of the game-playing couch potato. The couch itself functions as a video game controller, registering the slight movements of those sitting on it to direct the game. Think of a Wii that you control it with your butt. As an added bonus, it’s hilarious to watch: It looks like two people who are uncomfortable with one another trying to subtly correct an aggressive wedgie. Definitely the most functional couch you’ll come across.
For people who like to reduce, reuse and recycle
I’m not going to pretend I know what it takes to make a couch, but I’m pretty sure it requires a fair amount of materials: wood, metal, fabrics, padding, etc. Scientists or hippies or something keep telling us that using too many materials is bad for the earth. Solution? Recycle surplus materials into a couch. The pizza box couch has a permanent position in the annals of college lore, but what about outdated computers? Totally has couch potential. Impulsively steal mouse pads from the library but have no use for them? Got you covered. Break a levee or two? Stack up your sandbags for a sofa that’s as snug as it is protective against flooding.