It’s a classic scene – NU students walking through campus with their visiting parents, pointing out their favorite spots on campus and enjoying the beautiful views. But we college kids aren’t always completely honest during these tours… Although the sugar-coated facts may be true, read on to see what you should really tell your parents as you show them around our beloved school. Don’t hold back; I guarantee they’ll appreciate your honesty.
Bobb-McCulloch Hall
What You Actually Say: “This is my dorm, Bobb Hall. I like to hang out here and do homework in the lounge with my friends. Even though it can be loud sometimes, I love living here. Dorm life really is the dream!”
What You Should Say: “One time someone pooped on the floor in the lobby.”
Allison Residential Community
What You Actually Say: “Allison is one of the nicer, more modern dorms on campus. It even has a dining hall that has endless soft serve ice cream! But also endless vegetables that I eat for every meal.”
What You Should Say: “I did the walk of shame from Allison down Sheridan Road at 6 a.m. last weekend. That reminds me, I should probably post in the Facebook group to see if anyone found my bra.”
Frat Quad
What You Actually Say: “These beautiful, regal buildings have been standing here in the fraternity quadrangle since the early 1900s. The houses, which are clean and spacious, are havens for brotherhood and respect for others.”
What You Should Say: “To be honest, I’ve only seen the basement, which reeks of Natty Light and B.O. Oh, except for when I went upstairs to throw up in the bathroom.”
Technological Institute
What You Actually Say: “One of the biggest buildings on campus, Tech has miles of hallways and is an oasis for engineering, math and science students. This is the room where I have my favorite class, Engineering Analysis.”
What You Should Say: “Sometimes I’m in here for so long during the day that I don’t even see the sun.”
Bonus: “One night, I had sex in that exact seat you’re sitting in.”
The Lakefill
What You Actually Say: “The Lakefill is my favorite spot to relax, enjoy the beautiful spring weather or go for a leisurely bike ride. I also love to do homework here. Because I always do my homework.”
What You Should Say: “The Lakefill is the perfect place to smoke a joint.”
Henry Crown Sports Pavilion
What You Actually Say: “I go to the Henry Crown Sports Pavilion and Aquatic Center every day at 8 a.m. before my first class. The equipment is top of the line, and they’re even opening a juice bar inside soon!”
What You Should Say: “I went to the gym one time during Fall Quarter. The sound of boys in muscle tanks grunting as they do bicep curls still haunts my dreams.”
