The thing about love is, it just happens. People tell you to quit worrying and that love just has to find you and really, those assholes are right. All the time I spent OTP (on the prowl) resulted in nothing: not dates, not courtship, not anything. But then, after I declared I would be taking time for myself and would be OTP no more, it just…happened.
It is this spontaneity and unpredictability that makes the idea of a day dedicated to love, romance and the like totally absurd. Why does it need a special spot on the calendar? Every day — and I mean this in the most philosophical way possible — should be a celebration of love.
Valentine’s Day actually has no basis in history besides Sir Geoffrey Chaucer’s stories and a couple of saints who may or may not have died on February 14. There is even a book about this theory by a guy named Henry Ansgar Kelly and, although I haven’t read what promises to be a titillating argument about the link between Chaucer and the alleged Saint Valentine, I am taking his side on this one.
Like most slightly cynical and vaguely jaded college students, I hate Valentine’s Day. Not only because it is a lie and a sham — as my new friend Henry has so kindly explained — but because we give it more significance than it warrants. Yes, it’s just a commercialized trifle in our calendar year, but by constantly hating on it and dreading its arrival, we only make it a bigger deal. Of course I realize that as I type this I am completing the vicious cycle I just described, but that’s a paradox I can’t possibly avoid right now.
No one is safe on V-Day. Singles, couples, domestic partners, etc. are all targets for stress and depression during this most horrible time of the year. Don’t have a Valentine? Unless you’re a Bodhisattva or have achieved self-actualization, at least a twinge of Valentine’s Day blues is bound to hit. Happily hooking up, dating or married? Not for long. On February 14 the pressure is on! You better make sure you know just how into V-Day your partner is or else someone is going to be pissed.
No good comes out of this day, unless it’s in the form of kindergarten crafts and Star Wars themed cards for the whole class. It’s fabricated romance. It’s fake love. I don’t want something forced. I’d rather have some genuine heartfelt unnecessary gifts on a surprise day, wouldn’t you?
I predict we would witness a significant drop in cynicism and an increase in overall glee if we took the pressure of this ridiculous and arbitrary holiday and, instead, focused on ways to make the people we love happy the whole year round.
The crap you do in the spirit of Valentine’s Day should be fun and spontaneous and not on February 14. We should go on dates and surprise our significant others, or even friends, with gratuitous amounts of sugary goodness, but let’s get real and stop making this nonsense a mandatory mid-winter event. I propose an official Valentine’s Day boycott! Who’s with me?