When you consider suaveness in its most exaggerated form, you think of the guy who managed to get the toughest reservation in town or that girl who covered a bed with rose petals. But in the college world of hit-or-miss hookups and uncomfortably undefined relationships, suave is something entirely different.
In the relationship limboland of college, being suave is about having the balls to stick with common norms and expectations while still being unique and not submitting to the cliché gestures of your favorite rom-com heartthrob.
Here are a few basic do’s and don’ts of “college suave,” keeping in mind that confidence often means just rolling with the punches.
The Flirt
Be the nice guy. One of the biggest mistakes people make in college-style courting is confusing “too cool” with “hard to get.” If your friends are acting obnoxious, step aside and apologize. If you see your love interest standing alone, offer to buy him a drink or compliment her outfit. Small acts of kindness might be the difference between getting someone's phone number and going home alone.
Don’t be afraid of your love interest's friends. Approaching your crush while they're with their friends shows that you're comfortable with yourself. You’ll get bonus points if you can weave in a low-key compliment.
The Text
Avoid the double text when possible. If your crush doesn’t respond, don't send another text asking, "U there?" or “HELLOOO?!” Whether your crush is taking a nap or intentionally ignoring you, you’ll get an irritated reaction.
Have an actual point to make or conversation in mind when you text someone. While it’s always nice to check in, if you’re interested you should make an effort to show that you’re interesting too.
“If I text someone first I don't just say ‘Hey.’ I always have to come up with something flirty and fun to say,” says Communication sophomore Michelle Schechter. “I try to be kind of quirky and silly over text.”
“Lets go back to my place...”
Be explicit. There’s really no reason to disguise your big move as sharing a cab home together. If you’ve gotten to the point where you want to take your love interest home, be bold and tell him or her you want to keep hanging out in a more private venue. Also, if you wait around for all of your friends to leave with you, you might lose the opportunity for alone time and risk getting cockblocked by your roommate.
Especially important for girls: Run through a checklist at the door—phone, keys, wallet. You shouldn’t have to rely on whoever you leave with to get you home safely because you don’t have your phone to call a cab or the money to pay for it.
The Big HU
Boys, it’s barely impressive that you are able to unclip a bra with one hand. Use both hands—there’s nothing sexy about 20 seconds of frustrated yanking and claiming you’re usually an “expert” at lingerie removal.
Belts can be tricky. To avoid awkwardness, unbuckle the belt, but allow your partner to kick off their own pants. Pulling off a pair of pants (don't get me started on skinny jeans) requires a fair amount of maneuvering and there’s nothing worse than too aggressively pulling them over his potential, uh, roadblock.
Real Live Actual Dating??!
Pick a restaurant in Chicago or go somewhere you won’t run into your fraternity brothers, sorority sisters or exes. You’ll get points for creativity even if it's only an El stop away.
“I always like to sort of remove myself from the ‘Northwestern bubble,’” says Weinberg sophomore Nathan Frazer. “I think space is a very important way to get to know someone as a friend or romantically, to start to develop a relationship.”