1.Biting nails
2.Picking scabs
3.Not brushing teeth
Our bad habits are
The things no one wants to talk about,
The things we do late at night
Or in an anonymizing crowd
Furtively, a little ashamed, looking at
Our fingers moving or not moving
Over our under-discussed bodies,
Wondering when this began.
There’s always a first time, right?
4.Going to that party just to black out
5.Rage-posting just to feel superior
6.Eating ten cookies after missing two meals just to feel full
Our bad habits are
The things we can justify to ourselves,
The things that block out other things
Or are our “cheat days,” our
Once in a week slipups,
Our venting and stuffing and guzzling.
It makes us feel better.
So we just think of them as habits.
7. Turning in papers late
8. Faking sick because why bother
9. Watching BuzzFeed videos in seminar
Our bad habits are
The things in the fast lane,
The things in the fun lane -
Easy. Little bursts of dopamine
Careening through our brains,
Convincing us it’s more exciting, anyway,
To do things this way.
Payday is far away.
And the list just goes on and on (and on and on).
We get into a comfortable cycle of habit
Because of all the reasons we croon to ourselves
And all the dissonance we mute
And all the ways
We would rather not change,
Anyway.