It’s hard to think of a better dorm room staple than peanut butter. So when word got out that – surprise – peanut butter in your pantry may be contaminated with salmonella, it seemed that dorm snacking could be forever altered. Instead of giving up altogether, however, we decided to see what else we could do with the foods that usually accompany that nutty delight. And really, what could be better than a PB&J sandwich at 3 a.m. after cramming for that psych test? We set out to find out, gathering a team of six testers to try alternative jam sandwiches without the luxury of peanut butter.
Almond Butter & Jam: This seems like the obvious substitute for good ole PB, since it is a nut butter. So, unsurprisingly, it did taste the most like the real thing. Testers said, “It’s not peanut butter, but its still nutty which I think is nice,” and, “I feel like it’s a little sweeter than the typical PB&J experience. It’s very subtle.” Indeed, the almond butter is just a little sweeter than classic peanut butter, so if you’re looking for the whole sweet-and-salty thing, this one isn’t the way to go. But it is definitely the most authentic.
Cream Cheese & Jam: Through testing, I found out that not everyone used to eat these as a kid. What a shame. While I’m personally inclined to love this sandwich, as it tastes like childhood to me, it didn’t exactly get rave reviews. One tester said, “I think the jelly kind of overwhelms the cream cheese … the textures are too similar.” Another tester brought up the point that cream cheese isn’t the most spreadable of toppings, which is why it is usually relegated to the land of Bageldom. Definitely not a bad sandwich, but not as beloved as I would have expected.
Butter & Jam: Avoid this combination at all costs. Not only were all of the official testers so grossed out by this that they couldn’t finish a quarter sandwich, but the inevitable moochers who came by after the test and tried all the sandwiches threw this one straight into the garbage. One tester said, “I feel like this is the sweetest so far and this isn’t a good thing.” The sandwich tasted like it should have been toast with jam and butter, but since it wasn’t, something was just off. Soft-but-unmelted butter and jam just do not go well together. Only try this on two pieces of toast if you must have your breakfast food fix.
Cheddar & Jam: Apparently this sandwich is popular across the pond in Britain, but Americans just don’t seem to get it. One tester said, “It tastes like feet.” The cheese, which is supposed to be sharp, was too sharp and overpowered the jam and the bread. Another tester said, “It’s just a cheese sandwich that failed.” Again, no one could finish their quarter of this sandwich. If you have all the makings for this, just eat it separately – I can guarantee it’ll taste better that way.
Muenster & Jam: While much more of a success than the disaster that was cheddar & jam, Muenster still wasn’t very well-liked. “The cheese isn’t as pungent as the other one but it still tastes like feet,” one tester said. I personally liked this one a lot, but I’m also a Muenster fan to begin with. One con of this sandwich is that the combination of prepackaged cheese and the jam was too slippery and the sandwich fell apart almost immediately, getting jam everywhere. If you like all the parts of this sandwich separately, chances are you’ll think they’re okay together. But would anyone reach for it first? Probably not.
The Bottom Line: While it may be fun to experiment with different kinds of combinations, there is clearly a reason why PB&J is so popular. The only sandwich that was truly loved by the testers was the almond butter one, and that’s because it was so close to peanut butter. Testers generally liked wheat bread over white bread, saying that it complimented the jam pretty well. They didn’t really care what flavor the jam was, whether it be strawberry or blueberry. But whichever alternative you choose to try, be sure to just try one; all of our testers (and moochers) felt positively ill after eating so much jam, bread and various accompaniments.