Last quarter, North by Northwestern brought you 20 Questions — really… creative interviews with student artists. 20 Questions is back this quarter with an interview with Vertigo playwright and Communication senior Chris Wade. Wade’s play, Gulch, is premiering this quarter and was kind enough to sit down with NBN and talk about his talents, his perfect woman and what it’s like to write a western. Gulch opens February 26 in Shanley Pavillion.
So you wrote a western. Why?
Mostly because I didn’t think one existed, but I was tragically proven wrong by TI [Theatre and Interpretation Center] undercutting [me] by putting up the only other western play I’ve ever heard of the same year.
What’s it about?
I like to say it’s a metaphysical western, but that’s probably a little too intellectual. It’s about these guys who try to rob a train, but their robbery goes horribly wrong and they end up holed up in a saloon in Gulch where they meet the saloon owner and the town whore who may or may not be Satan and God, respectively, fighting for the men’s souls.
How do you deal with writer’s block?
Hours and hours of reading Wikipedia, mostly.
Would you survive in the old west?
Oh man, I’d get the shit beaten out of me for like my first three years and then I’d figure some things out and become an old grizzled prospector. I’d probably be the old guy living up in the mountains somewhere.
Which is the better childhood game: Cowboys and Indians or Cops and Robbers?
That’s tough. I’d be inclined to say Cops and Robbers since it’s less racist, but it also gives an early indoctrination for the mechanics of the modern American police state so they’re both pretty rhetorically indoctrinating.
What do you hate about Northwestern?
I think that people here just go too far out their way to make too many opportunities for themselves, which makes it really stressful. If there weren’t so many opportunities to do cool shit, I wouldn’t feel so stressed out about getting cool shit done.
If you hadn’t gone to college, what would you be doing right now?
I’d probably be like on some farm co-op in the middle of Ohio trying to write the great American novel and also learning how to farm. At least, that’s what some girl I met on a train between Chicago and Cincinnati said she was doing instead of college and I thought it was a pretty good idea.
What’s your best pick up line?
So,have you read Watchmen?
Has it ever worked?
Not yet but when it does I’ll marry that person.
How do you feel about nudity?
I think that there’s a reason people wear clothes and that’s because we have enough of a communal sense of shame about our disgusting bodies that we have the decency to try to hide it. There are people who would benefit greatly from their increased nudity, but those people already know who they are.
Are you uncomfortable yet?
No.
What’s your favorite candy?
It has to be a tie between Charleston Chews and 100 Grand Bar.
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
I’d probably want to control time in some sense so probably something with “Chronos” or the “Time Master,” but that sounds too much like the “Pagemaster.”
Who would you rather be roommates with: Heath Ledger as the Joker from The Dark Knight or Heath Ledger as Ennis from Brokeback Mountain?
Eh, probably Heath Ledger as the Joker from The Dark Knight because he might be a threat to my safety for the first half, but he’d probably die half way through the residency.
What’s the least badass thing you’ve ever done?
Probably cry at the end of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, not because it was sad in any respect, but because there weren’t going to be anymore Lord of the Rings movies, I was also watching it alone, in theaters, on opening weekend, in the front row.
Do you ever watch the Disney Channel?
I used to. I feel like all this Hannah Montana type stuff is the first youth culture thing that I’m just too old to get into. But back in the day, Aladdin the Animated Series – that shit was awesome.
Who would you put money on in a fight: Henry Bienen or Morty Schapiro?
I’ve not seen a picture of Morty Schapiro yet, but based on names alone, I don’t think that any guy named “Mort” could take any guy named “Henry,” so I’m going with Henry.
What’s your favorite drinking game?
I have one that I’ve not yet played that I’m really interested in. Whenever Gran Torino comes out on DVD, I want to drink every time Clint Eastwood says a new racist term. The writers went out their way to come up with a lot of different words and I think it should be honored by a round of heavy drinking.
What’s your hidden talent?
I can clap with one hand which is pretty impressive. I don’t have many hidden talents, I tend to wear what I can do on my sleeve, so you know people will like me and be impressed by my grandeur.
In exactly four words, why should people see Gulch?
Fatal onstage bar fight.