We know you guys. We know you’re tired of the same-ol’, same-ol’ gin, vodka, rum and Busch Light. You want something with some flavor; something to make that burning shot of Dimitri a little more palatable. We’ve been chugging away, looking for delicious combinations of mixed drinks you can make out of things you can find right from the dining hall. After all, the booze is expensive enough. Here are a few cocktails sure to be a hit at any party.
The Crapple: It can’t taste worse than it sounds.
Buy: Vodka
Steal: Cranberry juice, apple juice
Don’t let the name fool you; no byproducts of your last trip to the bathroom are on this list of ingredients. Rather, the Crapple is short for Cran-Apple. The apple perfectly complements the cranberry’s tartness, creating a mellow drink with a little vodka mixed in. Just grab one part cranberry juice and two parts apple juice, then mix ‘em in with a a shot of your favorite vodka.
“Berry Drunk” Iced Tea: Like “Berry Good” at Power Smoothie, but bad for you.
Buy: Rum
Steal: Raspberry iced tea, strawberry-kiwi juice, fresh strawberries
Not just a hilarious pun, but also a delectable diffusion of berry juices. Start with two parts raspberry iced tea and sprinkle in one part strawberry-kiwi juice and a shot of your favorite rum. Add a strawberry on top for an extra bit of classiness!
Tropical Ale: If it was called “Frostbite Ale,” would you drink it?
Buy:Malibu Pineapple Rum
Steal: Ginger ale, fruit punch, fresh pineapple
There’s nothing like a little sparkling rum-punch to add that kick to a party. Just grab two parts ginger ale and mix in one part fruit punch and a shot of Malibu Pineapple Rum. A slice of pineapple garnish on the glass rim completes this delicious island concoction.
For those of you who are dessert-minded, we have two wonderful finales to any dinner:
Peppermint Patty: No longer just Snoopy’s lesbian pal.
Buy: Peppermint schnapps
Steal: Chocolate syrup (put this one in your coat; you can not carry this out)
Though the tongue isn’t an actual ingredient, you’ll want to coat yours with chocolate syrup, then pour a shot of peppermint schnapps over it and swallow. The result is a creamy swirl of chocolate-mint that will definitely leave you wanting more (not too much more, though, lest us forget those four freshmen girls from New Student Week…).
And finally, for a little kick in your after-dinner coffee:
Iced Irish Coffee Delight: Not the best studying tool.
Buy: Vodka
Steal: Coffee, milk, sugar, ice
Yeah, so it has nothing to do with the Irish. Big deal, you wanna fight about it? The point is, it tastes good, and there are few substances as versatile as coffee (or vodka, really), so this is a great way to cap off a dinner without springing for more expensive dessert liquors. Just blend your favorite coffee, add milk and sugar per your normal preference, put some ice in the sucker and spike it with a shot of vodka. Bon appetit!