In this day and age, it’s becoming perfectly acceptable to take your dating life online. With the right combination of curiosity and desperation, anyone can end up disregarding the stigma associated with online dating in return for potentially getting some.
But OkCupid is a veritable meat market, and not all cuts are exactly choice, if you know what I mean. Crafting the perfect profile is hard, and unless you’ve Photoshopped yourself into a perfect 10, a few misguided answers could mean the difference between casual drinks with a cutie and an empty inbox. The only thing more embarrassing than your friend finding your dating profile is your friend finding your bad dating profile. Give yourself a leg up with these tips.
Length is important.
Yeah, it’s hard to get to know someone without actually talking to them. But if your profile is six words long, I’m not going to have any conversation starters. “You’re kind of cute” isn’t going to start much of a dialogue. That said, I don’t need to read through the catalogue of your iPod or your entire life history. Shoot for about a couple sentences per question — just enough to pique someone’s interest.
Please don’t tell me you’re really good at sex.
Some things should remain a pleasant surprise.
Tone is everything.
I’m surprised how many profiles I’ve read that sound angry. Internet anger is attractive to very few of us. Humor, on the other hand, is almost always attractive. If that’s not your thing, feel free to make this your space for deep thinking on the state of humanity. You’re competing with the entire Internet, so it’s important to sound like yourself. Boring profiles are the kiss of death.
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you should say it.
When OkCupid asks you what the most private information you’re willing to admit is, take it with a grain of salt. First impressions and all. Don’t mention how bitter you are about your last breakup or the degrading state of your mental health. For the love of God, don’t tell me it’s “I have a dating profile.” We’re all here essentially soliciting sex from strangers on the Internet. No big deal. This is the 21st Century — have no shame.
On that note — don’t be generic.
Unless you have a damn good reason or a damn witty follow up, don’t tell me you can’t live without your family, friends or cell phone. Snooze fest. If you’re going to be one of those “can’t live without music” people, be specific. “I could never live without my Zune” says a lot more about a person, and the same goes for “I love Fall Out Boy.” If you really do spend a lot of time thinking about improving solar cell efficiency, say so. Someone might find that really sexy.
It’s okay to be a little mysterious, especially if the truth is boring.
It’s great if you like to kick back with your friends on a typical Friday night, but that’s not going to catch anyone’s eye. “Skipping moonstones” might.
Be honest about what you want.
If you want casual sex from someone ages 21-23, say so. If you are a long-term relationship kind of person, don’t pretend you’re into casual sex. It’ll just mean wading through extra unwanted messages. The beauty of Internet dating is that you can vet your prospects before you have to meet them. Outright lies just waste everybody’s time.
Of course, a charming set of essays describing you to a T can only get you so far. You also have to be proactive. If you see that someone puts in all the effort to churn out a profile that knocks your socks off, please grow some balls and ask them out for coffee.
Full disclosure: The love of my life has yet to message me as a result of my fantastic profile. But a girl’s gotta have standards.