Last fall I was the victim of harassment. It was without a doubt the worst experience of my life. I would receive texts day and night containing such messages as “I will curb stomp you," “You will be stabbed" and “I know where your friends live [with the names of my friends and their room numbers]. Do you want them to get hurt too?” This daily barrage of texts was accompanied by hurtful phone calls to my parents, friends and friends’ parents.
I may seem to talk about this calmly now, but I promise you that my thoughts a year ago were anything but clear. I was waiting for the next text, call or hack to ruin my friendships and my reputation. I also was afraid to leave university-owned buildings, for fear my stalker would be waiting outside. Some days it was a struggle just to get out of bed.
A year later, I am safe, and I often ask myself what I learned from this experience. I learned that there are some sick people in this world. By “sick,” I do not mean “evil” or “twisted," but the original definition: “ill." I have accepted that my tormentor was a mentally ill individual (not an inherently evil person), and I forgive her.
I also now know that no other person — adult or child — should ever know the pain and embarrassment I felt. That is why I was shocked to hear of Michigan’s latest political snafu: Matt’s Safe School Law. I am a native of Kalamazoo, Mich., and I love my state dearly. I root for the Lions, riot when the Red Wings win the Stanley cup and call all carbonated beverages “pop." My knowledge of harassment and its detrimental effect on my life, though, remains the true reason that I care about the fate of this school bullying bill.
The bill's history
Matt’s Safe School Law began as many anti-bullying laws do. In 2002 Matt Epling had just finished the eighth grade when he “was assaulted by upperclassmen as part of a high school 'Welcome to High School' Hazing." Shortly after this, his parents went to the police, but it was too late. Matt took his own life about a month after the event. Four years later, his parents worked with the Michigan Department of Education to draft House Bill 4580. As bullying issues have gone in and out of advocacy vogue over the last five years, this bill has been stopped, delayed, duplicated and debated, not passed.
The current version — which was passed Nov. 2 — fails Michigan’s children on many counts. The most noted of these errors is the infamous “religion clause," which states that bullying can be excused if it results from a religious belief. This section inflamed Democrats, who said the clause gave an outline of how to get away with bullying. State Sen. Gretch Whitmer spoke against the bill, saying that it “was her lowest point personally” in the Senate.
Faults in the legislation
I agree with Sen. Whitmer on one point: If Michigan had taken effective, expedited action, we probably could have prevented some of the 10 deaths in the last 10 years that resulted from bullying. Whitmer said she feels that Republicans added the exemption clause to “[solve] a political problem that the Republicans have."
In reality, both parties are guilty of political strategizing that hurts Michigan’s children. For example, if Sen. Whitmer cares so much about Michigan’s children, why did she start her speech by bemoaning other GOP legislative moves, such as “the school aid fund," “raising pension taxes" and “the continued assault on the middle class”? I am no rhetorician, but these sound like the words of bipartisan strife, not advocacy for Michigan’s children.
Sen. Whitmer has also forgotten the fault of both parties to pass this bill, in any form, in the last five years that it has languished in the purgatory of bill-hood. The real tragedy here lies in both the shoddy bill that was passed and the five years it took to pass. If Republican senators are the only people to blame, how did they prevent the bill from passing in 2009 (or before), when the House had a vast Democratic majority and there was a Democratic governor? While the “let’s blame the Republicans” strategy is convenient, it only creates more animosity between the parties, which will further delay any form of anti-bullying legislature.
Addressing some solutions
As Matt’s Law approaches the Michigan House, unity between the parties seems impossible. The “religion clause” could be eliminated by the House, as has been indicated by Rep. Phil Potvin, but this section does not worry me as much as the rest of the bill.
Matt’s Law focuses more on punishing bullies than fixing the social climate in our schools. For instance, there are three separate clauses that begin with "a description of possible consequences and appropriate remedial action [for bullies]." Although I think that bullying should be punished in some way, I have to ask one question: Is bullying an action perpetrated by inherently “bad” children, or is it a symptom of something else?
While I was being harassed, I often hoped that my tormentor would just disappear. On some of my worst days, I dreamed of kicking her ass. After seeing her in person (in court), I had a new insight into the depth of her mental illness. The judge sentenced her to counseling, not jail, because she felt that there were serious mental health concerns. After a year of thought on the subject, I have to agree. If school bullies are anything like the woman who harassed me, I know that they have grave mental health problems that require therapy.
A Finnish study came to the same conclusion: After surveying high schools in two regions of Finland, they found that both victims and bullies were at greater risk of suicide. Another study conducted in the U.S. found that high schoolers who were victims of bullying in school had a 10.8 percent rate of suicide attempts, while bullies had an 8.2 percent rate. While the bullies’ attempt rate is lower, it is still significant. Also, the study reported that bullies who harassed other students had a higher attempted suicide rate than their victims.
The problem with Matt’s Law lies in the wording, which does not have provisions for bullies to receive the help they need. In an effort to protect all children, I propose two things. First, I beg the congresspeople of Michigan to unite on this issue, in order to draft a better bill and save our children. If both parties talked openly about what would best benefit all children (both bullies and victims) and left the party line at the door, we could begin to set this problem to rights. I also urge a different approach to punishment, where the actions are punished, but both the perpetrator and the victim get psychological assessment and treatment.
I am grateful to the judge who forced my stalker to get help. I am also grateful to the police, who began to press charges against her. The combination of these tactics allows me to walk around campus freely today, without worrying about where the next threat will appear.