When it comes to Facebook, we’ve pretty much heard it all before: Researchers found a class rift between Facebook and MySpace, false friends can pop up unexpectedly and more people are using it than ever. Facebook fascinates us because it exists in established networks – unlike some social networking sites, you mostly friend people you already know, and then use Facebook as a means of keeping in touch and sharing social information, not as a way to make new friends.
But that’s not always the case. Over the summer, the Northwestern Class of 2011 Facebook group was alive and buzzing with freshmen using the site to actually meet new faces, arriving on Sept. 18 with hundreds of Northwestern “friends” who, by most standards, were still strangers. I also found myself “friending” dozens of fascinating people who had required no special interaction except a simple request, and I was interested in meeting them.
And then I got here. I would never actually meet most of them, though I’ll sometimes recognize a face in a lecture hall with a little uneasiness about where I’ve seen it before. Others – well, I wish they too were just strange faces passing by the Rock. Turns out some of those really interesting people weren’t so interesting once I got around to talking to them. I’d fallen for the simplest marketing trick: I’d believed what I’d read.
Each of us, from the moment we create an account, is consciously, constantly shaping a public image. We are asked to boil ourselves down to something categorical – our jobs and educations, our interests and favorite bands. As a result, we end up summarizing how we see ourselves and influencing how others look in our direction. Real-life acquaintances will catch the blatant lies, but sometimes subtle things make the biggest difference. One study found that people with more Facebook friends are seen as more popular and attractive than those with fewer. After about 800, though, those people are viewed as insecure.
Whether or not you spend hours Facebook stalking our friends’ profiles – “Did you see he removed his relationship status?!” – profiles are a great way to learn how a person sees himself, which is inadvertently a decent portal into who that person actually is. The trick is in distinguishing between what a person expects people to think about him, and what that actually means.
People who describe themselves as “quirky,” “intellectual,” or, God forbid, “non-conformist”… Usually aren’t. “Quirky” in this case translates to “socially incompetent,” “intellectual” means “pretentious and elitist,” and “non-conformist” is just delusional. These are the same people who, in middle school, wore those ridiculous pins that say, “You laugh because I’m different. I laugh because you’re all the same.”
I looked through the profiles of my friends whom I consider to actually be the most fascinating individuals, who lead the “quirkiest” lives, and most of them don’t bother to describe themselves at all. One girl I know who is one of those frightening, do-everything-well types, a scholar-athlete-volunteer who will probably be a senator and whom I’d love to hate if she weren’t so – well, quirky and intellectual. But the only thing you’d really learn about her in her profile is that she likes Oscar Wilde and takes mundane group photos. On the other hand, I know a guy whose About Me says, in total earnestness, “Just like Lord Byron, sums me up really.” Needless to say, well, he’s not.
People with more than three visible Facebook applications… Are just annoying. Who really cares about which Disney princess someone most resembles or how many pounds of carbon gas they’ve reduced? (Whatever that even means.) If the sheer number of Facebook applications makes finding someone’s Wall a real challenge, that person should consider switching to MySpace.
People who change their profile photos daily, or who have hundreds of photos of themselves, most of which they’ve posted… Are really into themselves. But if you couldn’t figure that out without my help, you’re probably one of those people with too many applications.
People with photo albums exclusively dedicated to illegal activities… Are in college (I hope) and still a little too excited about it. I highly recommend you friend these people, if only to feel better about yourself once you realize you fall under one of the other categories.