On Tuesday night, President Bush delivered his State of the Union address, an experience akin to the Super Bowl for political junkies. College Republicans and College Democrats each have their own viewing parties, but I attended a more unusual party. Campus Greens, a group of students whose views align with the Green Party, hosted an alternative State of the Union party with the College Feminists and SEED, an environmental group. What follows is a transcript of my liveblog from the party.
6:52 I arrive at University Hall room 218 to see a blank projection screen and a student with red, overgrown bangs. Nick Burt, a member of Campus Greens, explains that the group had been promised a TV, but none was in the room when they arrived. His friend, Loren Balhorn, arrives with a laptop and they set out trying to connect NUTV to the projector.
6:55 They manage to start NUTV, but the display freezes on screen. Chaos ensues.
6:56 A sophomore member of college feminists arrive and everyone sets out talking about the anti-abortion display on Sheridan Road yesterday. “I bet [Students for Life] didn’t even pick up the flags. They probably just expected maintenance to pick up 3,700 flags,” Loren says.
6:59 As NUTV finally starts working without interruption, Nick grabs the attention of the four people in the room. “Just so you know, before we begin we will be running some contests.” The two categories are “Glaringly absent policy imperatives” and “2007 WTF subject cameos,” which Nick explains as anything similar to the President’s mention of steroids in baseball two years ago. He also brings out State of the Union Bingo cards.
7:02 “I’m pretty psyched for this state of the Union. Bush is expected to announce a 20 percent decrease in oil consumption in 10 years, so global warming is pretty much solved.”
7:07 Nick passes out State of the Union Bingo cards. Mine includes squares like “Declares war on Hugo Chavez,” “Bush points out that he welcomes dissent,” “Cindy Sheehan arrested” and “Nucular.” I feel like I can’t win.
7:13 First entry in “2007 WTF Subject Cameos:” Extinction of the Chinese River Dolphin
7:16 Loren, a friend of Nick’s, discusses his plans for a demonstration against the troop escalation. He weighs whether to have a demonstration, a panel discussion (“we could invite the College Democrats, but not really invite the College Democrats”) or lobbying ASG to write a resolution opposing the escalation.
7:24 The mystery of the low attendance is solved: Loren explains that he changed the time of the event this afternoon and didn’t have time to edit the ads
7:31 What do radicals eat? Brownies and parmesean-flavored goldfish, apparently.
7:33 Discussion ensues on everyone’s voting experience. Illinois voters did not seem pleased. “My absentee ballot came the day after the election,” said one student.
7:36 “I think the entire Northwestern community is completely desensitized to the Iraq war, since none of us are going to serve. We’re not the population that goes to war,” says Loren
7:37 More discussion on desensitization to Iraq. Nick notes that Bush’s approval ratings drop most when talking about handling of the war.
7:41 Nick reveals that he actually doesn’t have prizes for any of the contests. “Maybe we should go to Starbucks and get a gift card. It can be ironic,” says Loren.
7:47 The TV suddenly goes quiet and Nick starts panicking. After much commotion, we assert that C-SPAN just isn’t broadcasting any sound and that NUTV is still working.
7:52 Nick starts talking about the Catch-22 of negotiations with Iran (“Iran gets nuclear weapons so they won’t get hit by countries like us, and in turn we want to attack Iran”). He finally decides that Bush won’t pursue action against Iran. It strikes me how much Nick looks like a TA, except one of the cool ones that answers phone calls at 2:30 in the morning and sometimes runs into you at parties.
7:54 As two more members of College Feminists arrive, one student, a representative from NORMAL (a marijuana advocacy group) leaves. As he leaves, Nick asks him about the state of domestic drug laws. More feminists walk in.
7:59 Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney start giving introductions. Nobody listens, since people start giving suggestions for the two “big board” contests.
Glaringly Absent Policy Imperatives: Social Security (old people), Poverty, Universal Health Care, 1/40 of Iraq = RIP, Katrina refugees, Poor folks, Black folks, Pelosi duds (House Speaker Nancy’s wardrobe), “Reality” in Iraq, James Brown, State of North by Northwestern, Botched executions
WTF Subject Cameos: 3700 flags, I *heart* minorities, Don’t feed the birds, Judges need a new pair of shoes, James Brown, Fuckin’ (abstinence-only education), HD-DVD smut, Hangings in a non-Iraq context,
8:05 North By Northwestern Shoutout! Wheeee! “State of North by Northwestern” is added to the list of absent imperatives.
8:09 “So, is this gonna start or what?” We decide to introduce ourselves, but then the President (G-Dubs, to hear some of the viewers tell it) is introduced and we run out of time.
8:11 A member of College Feminists bemoans the fact that she didn’t bring something to throw at the screen.
8:13 Nick reminds us that we will be using prison rules when watching, so obscenities and elbowing is both allowed and encouraged.
8:14 Nancy Pelosi introduces Bush. Somebody boos.
8:15 Bush notes that he’s the first president to begin the State of the Union with “Madame Speaker.” College Feminists say they’ll take it. Someone wonders why Pelosi is wearing beige.
8:17 Bush half-heartedly acknowledges the Democratic majority. That hurt much?
8:18 Bush states that this is the 41st month of uninterrupted job growth. Loren argues that those jobs are at gas stations and WalMart.
8:19 Bush wants to balance the federal budget. Now he wants to do it without raising taxes. “Only if we don’t count,” someone shouts.
8:21 C-SPAN joke. ROFL. Seriously though, why is he defining earmarks? I’m pretty sure we talked about this in my high school civics class. Oh, he wants to eliminate them.
8:23 Social Security gets checked off the “absent imperatives” list. Bush talks about education reform and brings up No Child Left Behind. He asks Congress to reauthorize “this good law.”
8:25 He proposes two initiatives to make health care insurance more affordable: tax exemptions for health care and helping states come up with “innovative” ways to help make coverage available to the public. His plan to expand health savings accounts is met with great applause. That’s nothing compared to the ovation for passing liability reforms.
8:28 Did he ever say that the state of the union was strong?
8:29 Border patrol reform. Bush proposes a guest worker program (so your illegal immigrant nanny can stay) that would leave border patrol agents open to catch drug smugglers and terrorists. Much laughter ensues at the thought of terrorists sneaking in from Mexico.
8:31 Requisite dependency on foreign oil shout-out. He talks about new technology for clean and renewable energy, including batteries and ethanol. Hey, let’s reduce gasoline consumption by 20 percent in the next ten years.
8:34 Someone wonders if the President didn’t say “global warming” on purpose.
8:35 Only the Senate applauds the announcement of their power to approve judicial nominees.
8:36 9/11 shoutout. It actually feels kind of late in the speech.
8:37 “To keep the homeland safe, we have to bring the fight to the shores of the enemy.” As C-SPAN shows a steel-faced Condoleeza Rice, the radicals commence much ballyhooing.
8:40 This talk of terrorism is actually kind of chilling. The speechwriters used some pretty vicious diction.
8:42 “Man, this makes me feel good about the Democrats winning. Things are really different now,” Loren says. There’s just a hint of sarcasm there.
8:43 Bush wants to spread democracy in the Middle East. At least he didn’t say “crusade” again.
8:46 “Let us find our resolve and turn our resources toward victory,” says Bush. “I hope the extremists don’t find those WMDs that are still lying around,” replies Loren.
8:47 Bush starts talking about his troop escalation plan again. Everybody winces simultaneously. The atmosphere is actually kind of awkward.
8:49 In the Iraq talk, Bush drops the phrase “epic battle.” Everyone starts discussing what this “epic battle” would entail. Swords, dragons and castles with moats are among the highlights.
8:54 As Bush discusses his new plans for Iraq, Nick jokes that we’re going to make a magic spaceship to send overseas.
8:55 Bush mentions Darfur. Everybody’s impressed.
8:56 Everybody is even more impressed by Bush’s discussion of poverty, hunger and AIDS in Africa. Poverty gets checked off the “absent policy imperatives” list. Loren notes that Bush didn’t really propose any initiatives for poverty and argues that it should still stay on the absent initiative list.
8:58Dikembe Mutombo shoutout? Surprising! Also, how great was the height comparison between the NBA star and Laura Bush?
9:00 Baby Einstein shoutout? Someone asks if the childrens’ videos count as HD-DVD smut and it gets crossed off the 2007 WTF subject cameos.
9:01Wesley Autrey shoutout? Everyone laughs at how exuberantly Autrey takes his applause, especially when he man-hugs the army official next to him.
9:04 Bush finally says “The state of the Union is strong.” And that’s it.
9:05 Somebody wins Bingo by filling “non-political celebrity sighting,” “Bush bungles word with three syllables or less” and other squares.
9:06 College Feminists responds with the “State of Women.” For one, she notes that Bush urged better health care, but is part of the right wing that blocks Plan B and the HPV vaccine. “He doesn’t discuss women’s health care issues at all.”
9:07 He pushes pro-abstinence programs in Africa while trying to deter HIV-AIDS, the feminist notes.
9:10 She says that the women’s rights movement has fractured into smaller issue-based groups. She says the Northwestern group was based on being pro-choice, but will work on any issue that falls under gender equality.
9:13 David Spett, a member of SEED, the Northwestern student’s environmental group. Spett said he was disappointed about the lack of definitive environmental reform and underwhelmed by Bush’s commitment to cut gasoline consumption, since we have the technology to do more.
9:16 Spett lists more facts that show we could do more to improve fuel economy standards, reinforcing his lukewarm reaction to Bush’s plan. Nick points out that Bush didn’t talk about public transportation, but someone shouts out that he did technically mention it during the Wesley Autrey segment.
9:19 Nick steps forward with his response to the speech. He notes that Bush didn’t mention the millions of Americans without insurance, criticizes the “mischaracterization” of the employment situation and accuses Bush of using the money lost on earmarks as a scapegoat for careless government spending.
9:23 Nick continues by criticizing Bush’s appeal for more judges by saying he ignored the real issue of our bulging prison population. He also accuses him of being hypocritical with his border control program, since Bush is pro-globalization.
9:25 “I think many of us agree that his policies were grossly misguided.” The gloves are off.
9:26 “So much of his analysis of events in the Middle East were based on racism.” Nick continues by saying he was waiting for Bush to say that Islamic leaders in the Middle East eat babies. He also says Bush is falling prey to the White Man’s Burden by keeping us in Iraq.
9:28 Loren makes the inevitable Iraq-Vietnam comparison. He and Nick start listing times Pelosi stood and cheered.
9:29 The crowd decides that Mutombo trumps any WTF Cameo that they came up with. “Sammy Sosa might be a good choice next year,” says Loren.
9:33 Discussion continues with explanations of Campus Greens and SEED. Individual introductions ensue. The Bingo winner is given all the leftover brownies and everyone leaves.