I’m waiting. Again.
She said she would be here. I get out of school at the same time everyday. Why can’t she remember this after so many years? Now I’m sitting here, weighed down by burdens upon pounds of bad grades and boring textbooks. I can just feel the straps constricting my arms like snakes, cutting off my circulation. So now I stand, stoicly, remembering the day that just happened. I failed tests, slipped on the steps, lost my wallet. I refuse to believe that a trifecta of this caliber really takes place during one day. How long was today, really? Today was not 24 hours; it was three horrible days lumped together to drag it out and increase my frustration. One bad thing pinned up against another, without even sleep in between to break it up. It’s just all piling up and nothing can be worse than it is right now.
But apparently it can: She forgot about me. She works hard, sometimes at night, sometimes during the day. She tries to balance everything. However it is impossible. There’s never a clear schedule, and I’m left to sit here.
I’m still here. Waiting. Staring down.
It’s one of those days, where despite the sun, the wind is too cold and biting. I can’t even look into the distance in anticipation. All I can do is look down. Look at my cold feet that are growing increasingly icy and red as I wait here.
These tracks that take me to and from school are now desolate, but just an hour ago, they were bustling.They’re old and rusted, the kind of aged metal that groans under the pressure of the train cars. An hour ago, when I was supposed to leave.
At least it’s a sunny day. The sun is going down, but at least it was out today. It spent the morning and afternoon blasting us all with its saccharine rays bringing the freckles back to my face, and making people squint. But it will be dark soon; I can hear the crickets gearing up for their impending performance. The stars are starting to sleepily blink their eyes open for the night, soaking up the last bits of sunlight.
But I knew today would be bad. I woke up this morning feeling awful. I got out of bed and…
Why is today such a bad day? I guess maybe it wasn’t so bad. But then again, I can’t quite remember what happened at school. Where even am I? What am I waiting for?
I’m at this old train station, something so normal and common. I’ve been here so many times throughout my life, but it’s out of place now. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be, this isn’t where my home is anymore. I’m not in school anymore; I’ve moved out, moved on. I’m in a different state, with different trains, and more lonely tracks.
There’s no one to wait for. That period is over. I’m somewhere else, somewhere different. There’s no one to wait for.
I’m in my bed, wrapped tightly in a tourniquet of plain sheets. The sun is coming up, shining tiredly through the clouds. There’s no one to wait for here.