The arrival of Valentine’s Day makes most of us reach for the bottle for one reason or another, whether it’s finding solace in the bottom of a shot glass or concocting drinks for two. You can probably figure out the first option (Step 1: Pour shot. Step 2: Get plastered), but what drink should you pick to make your Valentine fall for you?
The trick is to find a drink with a great name — sexy enough to be intriguing, but not quite as obvious as “Sex Under the Bleachers With a KU Cheerleader.”
“People order drinks they don’t know all the time because of their names,” said Kate Morrill, a bartender at Blu Sushi Lounge. “They really like one called the Easy Lay. I don’t even know what’s in it, but neither do they. I just make what I think it is, and they don’t notice any difference.”
Try to actually know what you’re getting yourself into before you order. Or better yet, master one of these recipes, and make your own sexy cocktails at home.
Champagne
Champagne is the classic drink of romance, and it’s supposedly the best alcoholic aphrodisiac. Many Chicago bars and restaurants feature champagne specials on V-day. Both Blu and Va Pensiero in Evanston are offering champagne specials, but they come with pricey prix-fixe menus. You’d probably be better off making your own special.
Champagne Love Shots: Take a hint from New York’s Five Points Restaurant, which serves five different kinds of Champagne Love Shots before dinner on Valentine’s Day. These are ridiculously easy to make, as well as super-classy.
What you’ll need:
- Champagne
- 2 tbsps. fruit puree (Five Points uses raspberry, passion fruit, blood orange, peach and pomegranate, but the choice is up to you)
Directions: Spoon puree into a champagne flute and pour champagne over it. It doesn’t get much simpler, Romeo.
Goodnight Kiss: If you’d rather have champagne at the end of the meal (or later), the Goodnight Kiss is another simple but sweet option. It takes less than a minute to make, and you’ll still look like one hell of a sophisticated date.
What you’ll need:
- Champagne
- Campari
- 1 sugar cube
- Angostura Bitters
Directions: Put one drop Angostura Bitters on the sugar cube and drop it into the champagne flute. Fill with champagne and add a splash of Campari on top.
Martinis
Ladies, if a peach martini arrives in front of you, chances are that guy down at the end of the bar has had his eye on you all night. “Guys like to send girls fruity drinks,” said Morrill, who has seen her fair share of martini-passing in her nine years as a bartender. “That’s usually their first choice. Here, they like to send the Ecstasy martinis, or one of the fruit-flavored ones.”
Blu features a fruit basket of martinis, with flavors like peach, pear and even ginger. The Ecstasy is the undisputed crowd favorite, especially among women. The martini combines pomegranate vodka, strawberry liqueur, sweet and sour and cranberry juice in one delicious, bright pink concoction.
But never fear, broke college students. If your budget (or birthdate) won’t let you take advantage of the $10 martinis at Blu, there are tons of simple fruity drinks you can make on your own, with the help of a trusty cocktail shaker. This way, you won’t even need a bartender to pass them to your lady.
Red Hot Lover: Go ahead, flatter yourself. After all, your drink should give your date the right impression. A hefty combination of all that is fruity, alcoholic and delicious, this cocktail says it all with just three words.
What you’ll need:
- Vodka
- Peach schnapps
- Grenadine
- Strawberry juice
- Orange juice
Directions: Combine 2 oz vodka, 2 oz peach schnapps, a dash of grenadine and 2.5 oz. each of strawberry and orange juice in a cocktail shaker. Shake well for a few seconds, and pour into an ice-filled hurricane glass.
Sweet Release: The ultimate sugary, fruity drink, featured at NYC’s Torch restaurant. It’s even the right color for Valentine’s Day!
What you’ll need:
- 2 fresh strawberries
- 4 fresh raspberries
- Spiced rum
- Powdered sugar
- Sweetened cream
Directions: Mix 1.5 oz. rum and 1 tsp. sugar, then soak strawberries and raspberries in mixture. Slightly whip cream, then swirl together 1/3 rum-berry puree with 2/3 cream in a champagne flute. Garnish with extra berries to complete the look.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby
Half the fun of drinks is trying not to giggle when you order them. (The other half is actually drinking them. Did you really have to ask?) We may never find out what the “Easy Lay” is made of, but at least we have these other scandalous cocktails to keep us warm.
Sex’n’Honey: I’m sold; anything with this name has got to be good. This drink, from Fat Fish in West Hollywood, features a sweet honey-flavored vodka from New Zealand that has the bragging rights of being the world’s southernmost vodka. It’s also made using water from below an extinct volcano(!). If a New Zealand volcano vodka isn’t going to get you sex, then, well, I just don’t even know.
What you’ll need:
- 42 Below Manuka Honey vodka
- Pineapple juice
- Amaretto almond liqueur
- Cracked black pepper
- 1 piece of star anise (optional; to garnish)
Directions: Combine 2 oz. vodka, 2 oz. pineapple juice and 1 oz. liqueur in a cocktail shaker with ice. Add a dash of black pepper and shake. Strain into a martini glass, then garnish with another dash of pepper and a piece of star anise.
Ménage à Trois: This is probably the only way you’ll ever get away with suggesting this, so enjoy it while it lasts. Then again, if it’s good enough, maybe she’ll want the other one…
What you’ll need:
- Dark rum
- Triple sec
- Light cream
Directions: Fill shaker halfway with ice cubes. Combine 1 oz. of each ingredient, shake well, and strain into a cocktail glass.
Sex Panther: It doesn’t sound sexy so much as it brings to mind some kind of intriguing super villain. Strange mental images aside, this Panther packs a tequila-flavored punch. And aren’t we all looking for a little tequila on Valentine’s Day? (Editor’s note: No.)
“Young people, like 21 and right above, like to send people tequila shots,” Morill said. “They’re one of the most popular drinks to order for that age.”
So here’s a little tequila recipe, for the Mexican Sex Panther in all of us.
What you’ll need:
Directions: Fill cocktail shaker with ice, then add 1 oz. tequila, 1/2 oz. peach schnapps, 1/2 oz. chambord, and 1 oz. sours. Shake, strain into a small glass, and drink as a shot.
Hopefully, one of these recipes will help brighten your Valentine’s Day. (It’s still February and below freezing. We need all the brightening we can get.) Just remember not to overdo it — there’s nothing worse than drinking too much on a date and looking stupid. Your Valentine’s Day should be memorable, not blacked out.