Every NFL team has a weakness, that one position on the field that causes failed plays and fan grief. Since managers never sign the right guy, I propose this solution: personal ads. QB’s craving a connection need look no further. If you like what you see, send an email. They’re willing to meet.
Football HULK seeks RB with good legs
LF back who lets me take charge. Needs burly, strong legs. I’m 6’5”, 230lb QB with lzr arm. Often dirty and sweaty, a real QT. Have soulful eyes that match jersey. A + if you dig my cute Southern accent.
- P. Manning
BBM LF football friends w/benefits
I’m on break from work right now. LF some1 who’ll wait ’til I get back on my feet. Not rdy 4 a LTR, but chck bck in a cple of mnths. Ignore any prison-esque tatts.
-M. Vick
LF some1 with good hands 2 catch any bullets I fire/throw at ‘em. ;-9 LT meet a man who’ll flatter my veiny and MAD JACKED arms. Must luv dogs.
-M. Vick
LF dog for chrstms prsnt.
-M. Vick
Don’t pass on this innocent looker, I’m FIERCE!!!
I may look all soft and cuddly, but DON’T be surprised when the Lion in me comes out to ROAR, baby! I led the Barcelona DRAGONS to the ‘98 medieval championship victory in Europe. My Hungarian Horntail trophy makes GREAT tea, and I’m willing to share. Since returning to los estados unidos, have developed an UNQUENCHABLE craving for tapas. Want a player who believes I can COMMIT to the run game. Must repress any urges to GIGGLE brought on by my resemblance to Mr. Clean.
-J. Kitna
Typical American man w/K wants whisker-cheeked chum
Outdoorsy man loves hunting, fishing, and general horseplay w/ my 7 kids (it may be 8, but who’s counting?). dedicated to the downfall of my nemesis matt leinart. plans include the release of his guy-on-guy sex tape with jim belushi and plastering web sites with leinart caricatures that say “so’s your face!” =:-H plans conflict with my mission for jesus. LF a big man can protect me in the pocket but let leinie’s little hiney get hit.
-K. Warner
male athlete EXTREMELY good-looking ready for any action
I’m a frickin football god, so give up if U expect some 1-on-1 practice. Time 4 the real shit. Be honest, people! Hot or not? Does a little bit of scruff make me look as sexy as people say? Or do the ladies prefer a shaved Tommy boy? I’m accepting applications 4 someone to sing my tribute song to help me fall asleep at night, no strings attached. ;) Costume provided.
-T. Brady