The NBA playoffs are officially in swing and North by Northwestern is here with predictions. Our writers are facing off in a playoff blog series.
FIRST ROUND
EAST
1 – Cleveland
8 – Detroit
Josh Sim: As if State getting whupped only a few weeks ago wasn’t bad enough, expect a bloodbath to the same degree in this series. Pistons request a bailout. Cavs 4-0.
Peter McGrain: Remember when Detroit scared people? Then they traded Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson, who isn’t even playing for them. The Pistons end up roadkill under the Cavs’ bus. Cavs 4-0.
2 – Boston
7 – Chicago
JS: With Kevin Garnett most likely out for this series, it’s up to Paul “I’m the best player” Pierce to put the Celtics through. Just hope he doesn’t wuss out with another “knee injury.” Another reason to watch: Joakim Noah and Glen Davis going at it: The two most unorthodox body types for basketball athletes going head to furry ‘fro. May the ugliest one win (that’d be Joakim, far and away). Bulls 4-2.
PM: It may be the homer in me, but I think this could be interesting since the Celtics won’t have Garnett (apparently, at all this postseason). So the Bulls can probably steal two games. Celtics 4-2.
3 – Orlando
6 – Philadelphia
JS: The lack of shooters for Philly will quickly turn this into a laugher. To wit, Orlando’s scrubs will get their most meaningful playing time since their college days. Expect JJ Redick to be the new Darko “Human Victor Cigar” Milicic. Magic win 4-0.
PM: Philly center Samuel Dalembert is going to be Dwight “Superman” Howard’s kryptonite. Or not. Magic 4-0.
4 – Atlanta
5 – Miami
JS: Anytime a team has a player with the name “Zaza,” it’s hard to take them seriously. Hope that Jamaal Magloire, Michael Beasley and Mark Blount take the court together: The sleepiest-looking frontline in these playoffs. Dwyane Wade stuffs the stat sheet in a series filled with athleticism and sloppy defense. Heat move on 4-1.
PM: The Hawks are relevant for the first time since Dominique Wilkins (do kids these days even know who he is?). D-Wade is still going to carry the Heat to a first round win. Heat 4-2.
WEST
1 – LA Lakers
8 – Utah
JS: The glitz of Hollywood versus… Utah. Jerry Sloan & Co. are never to be underestimated, but Kobe’s hungry. He’s like that fat kid without a snack. He needs this. The Jazz will keep the cookie jar away as long as possible, to no avail. Lakers win 4-1.
PM: Three months ago this would have been interesting. Then again, if the Jazz hadn’t played like garbage for the rest of the season they wouldn’t be the 8th seed. Lakers 4-1.
2 – Denver
7 – New Orleans
JS: Chauncey vs. CP3. Nene vs. Tyson. Carmelo vs… The Hornets’ lack of depth inevitably brings them down. But don’t be surprised if CP3 goes en fuego in the Mile High. Denver win 4-3.
PM: Easily the hardest game to predict. The Hornets are much better than the seeding, but the health of Chandler and Stojakovic is a key factor. Denver is talented and deep and Chris Paul probably can’t win it alone. But he’ll come close. Denver 4-3.
3 – San Antonio
6 – Dallas
JS: Watch two dysfunctional Texan teams stumble and crawl to the finish! The Spurs are plummeting faster than stock; the AARP are already calling for Timmy D’s knees. But Dallas might slip up just enough to let the geriatric Spurs keep their hopes barely alive. In the battle of elders, Jason Kidd reigns supreme. Dallas goes 4-2.
PM: This is not the Dallas team of old. They finished hot, but even a banged up, Ginobli-less Spurs should handle the Mavs. Though without Ginobli they may not draw as many “flopped on the ground like a soccer player” charging fouls. Spurs 4-2 .
4 – Portland
5 – Houston
JS: The up-and-coming Blazers, fresh from an era with more arrests than wins, are ready to put a stamp on their playoff homecoming. Meanwhile, the Rockets are still figuring out the playoffs – namely how to… well, win. A personal Northwestern homer-bias: Rockets GM Daryl Morey is an alum. These two cerebral franchises will play it out, chess-style, but expect the Rockets to checkmate the Blazers in the eleventh hour. Rockets by a nose 4-3.
PM: This should actually be a good series, but Houston chokes in the first round, no matter how much they try to blame that on McGrady. Portland is going to be very good in the near future and home court advantage will carry. Blazers 4-3.