North by Northwestern

In the Illinois County of Cook
Depending on the places you look
There are rhymes to be found
And if they abound
I’ll turn them all into a book
***
There once was a prof from McTrib
Whose manner was brusque and quite glib
He said: When liberally writing
Don’t bother fighting
That urge to be balanced, just fib!
***
A hard-studying student in Deering
Possessed a very acute sense of hearing.
What went on in those stalls
He could hear through the walls
So trips to the bathroom he was fearing.
***
One morning down Sheridan Road
Slunk a girl whose mind bore a load
For the prince she had kissed,
Liquor caused her to miss
That he was really less prince and more toad.
***
As some drunkards stumbled down Clark
A figure emerged from the dark.
Judging him scary,
They chose to be wary
His bite probably worse than his bark.
***
As my psych grade hovered near worst
Useless knowledge caused my head to burst.
Those experiments were funny,
But at least they paid money
That I spent at Evanston 1st.