It’s no surprise that most men hate condoms. Even as a woman, I hate condoms. Yet, they are a necessary evil when you are sexually active, want to keep everything safe from disease and don’t want to take care of another human for 18+ years. Personally, I can hardly take care of myself, so no babies for me.
Condoms are a buzzkill because that’s exactly what they do – interrupt the buzzing rush of foreplay. Between asking for one, pilfering through your roommate’s dresser drawers, finding one, coming back to your partner, tearing it open and figuring out when to put it on, there’s a lot of down time. Your partner could easily get up and leave…so let’s make sure that doesn’t happen.
You and me both, Julia.
Thankfully, there are ways to make those little rubber lifesavers sexy.
Keep ‘em close. Both men and women should keep condoms easily accessible, or at least know where to find one. Tear the package open beforehand (if you know where the sexual encounter is going). Know how to put it on quickly. All these steps will reduce the attention given to the condom and help you focus on the act itself.
Timing. Many men link their hatred of condoms with the resentment of having to stop the sexual flow, tear open the package and put on a cold condom. Are you turned off yet? In order to minimize this problem, put the condom on during foreplay. That way the condom will warm up as you do, and you’ll avoid that terrible awkwardness.
Switch roles. Put the condom on your partner for a change. Maybe it’s a result of always having to put them on themselves, but guys get very excited when you offer to do it. This switcheroo keeps both parties engaged and stimulated. If you don’t know how to put on a condom, look online, use the more adventurous technique of the fellatio goddess Auntie Angel or simply ask your partner to show you. Trust me, he won’t mind you trying to pleasure him more. Ultimately, everyone should know how to put on a condom for general safety reasons, but also because it’s sexy as hell.
Lube. Normally I keep quiet about lube because most people assume it’s only for old people, but lube is an incredible and a life-changing addition to your sex life. You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. Lube makes you wet and warm and even tingly. Most importantly, lube makes you forget the condom is there.
All things considered, condoms are an unavoidable part of sex. They may not seem sexy, but rubbers help you avoid all types of sticky situations, and that feels really good.
I’m so glad I found someone who understands the importance of contraception just as much as I do.
Love always,
The Mistress
I'm always happy to answer personal questions, comments or suggestions. Contribute anonymously here or email me here: mistressofmybox@gmail.com.