So you’ve decided to masturbate. Congrats! Welcome to a lifetime of pleasure. Before you begin, there are a few things you should know and a few special tricks you’ll want to try.
Since many people masturbate before having sex, I want to dispel a couple rumors. First, I’m very happy to tell you: Sex is not like how it is portrayed in movies. In its big-screen form, sex is about the big O. It’s a finish line that actors with little socks on their genitalia pant and gyrate towards. In reality, sex is just as much about the race as it is about crossing the finish line.
Sex, in all its forms, is about feeling good. Having sex without orgasming is still (gasp!) pretty damn enjoyable. Masturbation should be the same. Assigning a big goal to the act adds a lot of unnecessary responsibility. So, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself to orgasm; put some friendly pressure on your clit instead.
In movies, sex scenes last the duration of a steamy two-minute montage. In real life, it lasts much longer. The average women takes about 20 minutes to climax. Honestly, it can last as long or as short as you want, and that’s awesome. Set aside some time for masturbation, and don’t expect to get it right on the first time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Building up to that climax may take as much careful consideration and planning.
In order to build a city like Rome, you must first identify what materials you’re working with. Unlike the penis, which is pretty much a two-dimensional pleasure machine, female anatomy is much more complex.
While men can just look down, female genitalia is tucked in and out of sight and takes a little extra effort to understand. Are you noticing the trend here? Women’s bodies are complicated. This is why women are perpetually unsatisfied. Persevere ladies. Understanding the female anatomy makes masturbation much easier. I recommend using a handheld mirror to check out what’s going on downstairs. It might surprise you.
Now that you understand the downstairs anatomy, remember that pleasure is about your brain too. Pleasure can be largely mental. During masturbation, you must be comfortable with yourself and most importantly, love yourself. John Mayer was right, your body IS a wonderland. But you must believe that before anyone else will.
However, loving yourself is not always easy. In a world where women are bombarded with extreme expectations, no one succeeds. I find it helpful to think about a few things that are unique to me – even if they’re weird things no one knows. Those are the traits that make me different, and therefore special. Write down three things you like about yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and notice how your eyes shimmer in the light. No one has eyes exactly like yours.
Once you and yourself are on good terms, it’s time to begin. Select a comfy space free from distractions. Most likely, your bedroom. If you have roommates, wait until they are gone. Trust me on this one … It’s better to be alone for your peace of mind, and in case you have the urge to be noisy.
Masturbation is a mouthful of a word for a surprisingly simple task. While the Internet may recommend a variety of toys and household items to help you, I will focus on its purest form: manual stimulation.
I could sit here all day and outline the many types of manual stimulation. Like sex positions, masturbation is a big bag of variety. For now, I will outline a few of my favorites techniques. If none of these methods suit you, don’t worry, there are many others you can try. Disclaimer: All these names are completely made up by me and not scientifically valid.
1.The High-Four. Hold your four fingers together and rub them across your vulva. Some women prefer the up and down strokes, some prefer to move side to side and some prefer a circular or figure-8 motion. There’s no need to stick to one type of movement. Use them in variation! The High-Four is a good way to warm-up and get your juices flowing. You might even high-five yourself afterwards.
2.The Sandwich Method. Use your three forefingers to create a sandwich around your clitoris. Place your ring and pointer fingers on the outside and the middle finger on top of your clitoral hood (That’s the small flap of skin surrounding your clit). Again, move in any direction you please. This method is great because it provides intense clitoral stimulation.
3.Rock-On Method (a.k.a. fingering yourself). While masturbation doesn’t demand internal stimulation, it is a great way to simulate penetrative sex. I call this the “rock-on method” because I use my middle and ring fingers, but you can use any fingers you like. Insert your fingers in your vagina and massage your G-spot (located on the inside side of your vagina, about 2-3 inches in). If the internal stimulation isn’t enough, simultaneously use the heel of your hand or your palm to rub your clit.
4.Bump and Grind. This method works in conjunction with any type of manual stimulation. Move your hips with the movement of your hands to mimic sexual activity.
5.Two is better than one. For this, and many other reasons, humans were built with two hands. Let your non-active hand explore your body. Massage your neck, squeeze your nipples, clutch your thighs, stroke your bottom. Your body is filled with sensitive nerve endings. Maximize your pleasure by exploring your erogenous zones.
Still can’t get it right? Use lube to help your fingers glide. Do some jumping jacks or an ab workout before. I find it much easier to climax when I’m sweaty and worked up. Use the pressure of a shower head. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. Just love yourself and the rest should come easy.
Best of luck,
The Mistress
I'm always happy to answer personal questions, comments or suggestions. Contribute anonymously here or email me here: mistressofmybox@gmail.com.