As January becomes a distant memory, the quality of movies seems to improve as well. Though nothing opening this week is a cinematic masterpiece, some fancy directing, clever writing and nice editing manage to save some movies that at first glance looked destined to suck.
Though, some things won’t ever be good: the Super Bowl game, soggy nachos and Eva Longoria Parker’s acting.
The Eye
There’s plenty of eye candy in The Eye (with both Jessica Alba and the directing team behind the French thriller, Them) but substance will be hard to come by. It’s like that guy/girl you hooked up with at the frat. (At least, you hope so, you were pretty drunk.)
The Premise: Jessica Alba plays a blind violin virtuoso (insert obligatory Stevie Wonder joke) who receives a corneal transplant. She starts seeing – seeing dead people, that is. Lots of screaming and running ensues. This is a horror/psychological thriller, what do you expect?
Starring Jessica Alba and produced by Tom Cruise, this movie has the big names to carry this remake of a Hong Kong psychological thriller of the same name. If you’re expecting The Ring, you’re going to be disappointed, but directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud have the talent to keep this from the Razzies.
Over Her Dead Body
Just like the title, Over Her Dead Body is tired and unoriginal, and you could do worse.
Eva Longoria (now Eva Longoria Parker) is engaged to Paul Rudd. She dies on their wedding day and he consults a psychic to help him move on. Rudd and psychic start hooking up and Eva Longoria is not happy. Cue the cat-fighting and you’ve got Over Her Dead Body in 30 seconds.
“While not horrifically bad, it’s as mediocre a motion picture as you’re likely to find in a multiplex this season,” said Reelviews.
It’s the 27 Dresses dilemma. There’s nothing wrong with a cliché, mediocre romantic-comedy, per se. You just might want to avoid mentioning how you saw it to your RTVF friends.
Strange Wilderness
“I’m seeing things I’m not supposed to,” Jessica Alba said in The Eye trailer; she must have been seeing this movie.
Directed and written by Fred Wolf, the man who wrote Without a Paddle and Joe Dirt, this is going to be yet another terrible movie to his credit. Beginning with the plot, everything about this movie can only be described as “ridiculous”: Steve Zahn’s character is trying to save his failing wilderness show by discovering a new species. Doesn’t he know that’s why there’re so many cute animals in those shows? Throw in a penguin and I’m sold.
Summary: Bad actors + Bad writer + Bad director = A rare species that is both deadly and awe-inspiring in its ugliness. Save yourselves.
With the weather so chilly and the releases so mediocre, why not just stay home? HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Six just came out for those looking for the laughs, albeit a little weird and awkward at times. El Cid starring Sophia Loren and Charleton Heston, that guy that wants you to buy a gun, has been rereleased. For the indie-set is Rocket Science, the coming-of-age story of a boy with a lisp and a big crush on an older woman. And in the realm of terrible cinema is Invasion starring Nicole Kidman and the not-so-cool James Bond, Daniel Craig.