While most students end Dillo weekend with hangovers and a few dozen tally marks on their forearms, or disappointment due to the less than stellar musical line-up, I decided I wanted to take something different away from Dillo Day. Instead of doing Dillo Day the “normal” way, I taped a giant, mustached banana to my back, rocking this bizarre stuffed fruit in hopes that I’d have some lessons for those who want to make this annual event a bit more interesting.
Lesson 1: Random people like to play with your banana
Within my first few minutes on the lakefill, it became abundantly clear that many people wanted to do things with my banana. After one girl tried to stealthily take a picture with it and a passing group of frat guys all rubbed it (both the first of many), I realized my banana was going to receive quite a bit of attention. Innuendo aside, it was surprising how many people were interested in the strange object taped to my back. While my first thought is to attribute some people’s lack of inhibitions to alcohol, some of the people who did the strangest things seemed relatively sober. Regardless, if you’re going to bring your banana to Dillo, expect to get quite a bit of attention.
Lesson 2: You and your banana should stick with a group of friends
One worry I had going into Dillo was that my banana would get stolen or destroyed throughout the day. I didn’t use too much tape to keep it attached, and figured that some drunk person would tear it off and go running. However, being amid a group of friends probably deterred would-be thieves. It was also difficult for me to keep my banana from hitting others while moving about. My friends knew to give me a bit more space to avoid being smacked by the giant yellow fruit, but I’ve been told that others were very unaware and got hit repeatedly. As tempting as it may be to use your giant banana as a way to meet new people, it’s in your best interests to be surrounded by people who know what you’re doing and are looking out for you. Besides, anyone you meet will forever remember you (if they remember anything) as “the banana guy,” and you really don’t want that.
Lesson 3: You can name your child banana
“You can name your kid banana or air conditioner” –Damian Kulash, lead singer of OK Go. Also on the table: air conditioner.
Lesson 4: If you want to bring a banana to Dillo, don’t attach it with duct tape
Initially, the plan was to sew straps onto the banana so that I could wear it like a backpack. It was decided that it would be far less effort to just attach it with duct tape. I now would recommend against it. When I removed the tape and banana later, the parts of my tank covered by the tape or banana were sweaty due to how close-fitting they’d been. I got far hotter than I otherwise would have, and it was impossible to adjust the banana or tape to make it particularly comfortable. If you want to bring your banana to Dillo, make sure to attach it in a way that’s more comfortable and less sweat-inducing.
Lesson 5: Bring your banana to Dillo
I enjoyed Dillo far more than I would have otherwise because of the banana. In theory, Dillo is meant to be fun on its own. However, the novelty of socially acceptable day drinking is a bit overrated, the bands Mayfest puts on are ones some of us would never pay to see, and the parts of Dillo that were the best were spent doing the same things you would do on any other Saturday. So, if Dillo this year didn’t quite live up to the hype, I’d encourage you to do something different next year. That doesn’t mean you need to carry around a massive fruit like I did. Instead, I endorse all efforts to tread off the beaten path and take a more interesting approach to your Dillo Day. After all, you have a lifetime of concerts and getting dangerously intoxicated ahead of you, but only four Dillo Days. Make them count.