Before I came to Northwestern, I only had Jewish friends. I never realized what a sheltered life I had until I came here. I grew up in New York City, and went to a private Jewish day school. During the summers, I went to a Jewish sleepaway camp in upstate New York.
I knew that my religious life would be different once I got to college. I never had to deal with explaining Jewish customs or planning my classes around Jewish holidays. Last year during the month of October, I only had eight days of classes, because my school gave off for every Jewish holiday.
This year, my friends stared blankly at me when I mentioned the holiday of Sukkot, and most of those friends were Jewish. In high school, I was considered one of the least observant in my grade. Some of my friends would even joke around that I wasn’t “really” Jewish because I would use electricity on Saturdays or eat at non- kosher restaurants. I had grown used to the jokes and the sometimes slightly obnoxious comments. In some ways, I had convinced myself that I really was not so observant.
When I got to Northwestern, that thought slapped me in the face. My friends here refer to me as the Super Jew. When they have questions about Judaism, they come ask me. It is understandable that I am considered “very Jewish” here, especially since I like to eat kosher meat. Luckily, the dining hall in Allison offers kosher food, so I don’t feel a strong urge to break my traditions in order to fit in. However, it is hard to keep a lot of the other traditions that I observed at home.
When I mentioned Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur, most people nodded their heads because they understood that those are Jewish holidays. However, when I mentioned Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah, one of my friends laughed in my face and asked if I was making up holidays.
I’ve had to face challenges that I never even thought about at home. I sometimes wonder if I really need to miss class for a minor holiday, or if I should really skip a party in order to celebrate the Sabbath. I went home the weekend of Yom Kippur because I wasn’t sure if I could handle the temptations of the tailgates and the Michigan football game.
However, I couldn’t go home for every holiday. So, I returned to campus and dove back in to my fast-paced life without thinking twice about all of the upcoming holidays. The guilt only hit me when I was on the phone with my grandmother. She asked me what I was doing that night and I quickly responded, “Oh nothing special, dinner in the dining hall, work and maybe I’ll go to a movie later.” I heard a pause and then she said, “You aren’t doing anything for the holiday?” I completely froze. I hadn’t even remembered it was a holiday.
For the past 18 years of my life I never had to think about whether it was a holiday or not, because everyone around me would be celebrating and it would be impossible to forget. This year was the first time in my life that I went to a class on a Jewish Holiday. This is the first month in my life that I did not have a Sabbath meal on a Friday night. This is the first time in my life that I have ever faced these challenges and I can’t say I am so happy with how I am choosing to respond to them.
I know it’s a process and it will take time to find what I want to do religiously and not just what I was brought up doing. However, I am a little frightened that I have become known as a Super Jew at the same time. If this is the standard of observance in the real world, then I don’t think I will ever feel pressured or guilty enough to return to my old ways. I grew up in a little bubble that forced ideas and traditions into my head, but I am worried that once they escape, they might never find their way back.
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