Dear Ohio Board of Elections,
I think you forgot something. I applied for my absentee ballot a full three months before the elections, eagerly checked my mailbox every day until I finally got the ballot, excitedly filled out the ballot as per your directions (I never would have even considered using a pencil) and sent it back with at least two weeks to spare. In short, I voted and I voted perfectly. So where’s my sticker?
The “I Voted” sticker is a critical part of Election Day. It’s the cheese at the end of the rat race. Voting without the sticker is like skiing without a mask or going to Rocky Horror Picture Show in a button-down shirt. It’s a way to show others what you’ve done. It’s a way to remind everyone else what they should do. And, let’s be honest, it makes you look hot.
And so this Election Day, I feel a little bit lost without my sticker. I mean, I voted. I even voted on a Friday night. None of these clowns walking around campus with their stickers can claim that. I showed unrivaled dedication.
I’ve been excited to vote since before I can remember. One of my favorite things to do when I was a kid was to vote with my dad. I always got a rush from pulling the lever. In 2004, I was upset that I was still too young to vote (though not as upset as my friend who turned 18 at 1 a.m. the day after). Finally, on my 18th birthday, I applied to vote even before I bought a lottery ticket (it wasn’t a winning ticket, but I was one scratch away from $1,000), a Playboy or a carton of cigarettes (just kidding — I don’t support the tobacco industry, even just as an excuse to brag about my age).
I haven’t gotten a thing for voting, unless you count the four voter registration cards you sent me (seriously, what was up with that? Do you want me to vote Chicago-style?) Not a sticker, not a lollypop, not even a doughnut!
I know what you’re going to say. Isn’t it enough that I voted? Why do I need to brag to everyone else? Isn’t contributing to the process more important than proving I contributed?
No, it’s not. I’m proud that I voted and I do want to show everyone that I voted. I’d get an “I Voted” tattoo across my chest if I were crazy enough. Think about the Iraqis, who stained their fingers with ink after they voted. They threw those fingers in the air and showed any Marine, journalist or townsman who crossed their path. These people were proud to vote, and weren’t afraid to show it.
We’ve been spoiled by democracy for so long that we don’t even care about voting any more. Nobody in Ohio, or America for that matter, would stain their finger purple after they voted. Can you imagine some businessman or housewife putting up with the inconvenience of marking their body just for voting? I mean, people barely have the patience to wash their hands.
It’s this lack of excitement that makes our democracy so weak. Only 60.7 percent of eligible voters voted in 2004, and that was high. Compare that to Brazil, where almost 80 percent voted in 2002, or France, where 79.7 percent voted in 2002. We’re being beaten by FRANCE! France wouldn’t even have a baguette to their name if it weren’t for us, and suddenly they’re better at democracy!
So, is a sticker going to change all that? You’d be surprised. All day, I walked around campus and saw very few people sporting their stickers. At first I was upset about our lack of involvement, but then I realized what the real problem was — absentee ballots don’t come with stickers. There’s no way of knowing how many people really voted. It may not seem like a big deal, but it really is. In college, voting is hard. You have to get your absentee ballot, fill it out and send it back in time. A lot of people don’t pass that test. Peer pressure, though, could motivate people to buckle down and vote. It’s no secret that if enough people sport their “I Voted” stickers, more people are going to want one.
Remember those Livestrong bracelets? Do you think people would have really gone out and bought those rubber circles if their friends hadn’t done it first? Buying one of those was a way to look cool and fit in and show everyone how “charitable” you were.
With the importance I place on voting, not having the sticker is shaming. It’s like the anti-Scarlet Letter. The lack of my mark makes me an outcast in society.
Stickers are just the traditional way of doing it. I guess you could try something new, if you guys wanted. Those rubber bands I mentioned above are just itching for a comeback. You could give T-shirts a shot (I just voted and all I got was this lousy T-shirt? I don’t know, I’m trying). One columnist even suggested free booze, but I don’t think this would solve the problem of mailing it to absentee voters.
Whatever you end up deciding, I want one soon. You have my address. I’ll check the mailbox every day.
Sincerely,
Jason Plautz