How to keep your 4/20 jail-free
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    Photo from Wikimedia. Licensed under Creative Commons.

    It’s upon us: the greatest national holiday ever. If you forgot that this Tuesday is 4/20, a day dedicated to celebrating the beautifully intoxicating herb that is marijuana, then hurry up and stock up on your favorite snacks and an ounce of something special. But don’t get too hasty — you should probably also stock up on your Evanstonian pot laws as well, lest your wake and bake turn into a wake and go-to-jail.

    POSSESSION

    Any kind of possession is ILLEGAL in Evanston — or anywhere in Illinois for that matter. If you’re caught with anything up to two-and-a-half grams, it’s an automatic misdemeanor and potentially 30 days in the can. If it happens to be your first-time, however, you could be eligible for probation and a subsequent dismissal of charges. Same goes for anything under 30 grams — but a potential six months for anything between 2.5g and 10g and a year for anything between 10g and 30g. Don’t even ask about anything more than 30g because you shouldn’t be running around with an ounce (30g) in your pocket dancing with daisies on Deering field. Besides, it’s a felony. And hefty fines are definite possibilities with all of the above. We’re talking at minimum $1500.

    Possession of drug paraphernalia is also illegal, so don’t think that just because you picked up a cool glass pipe in Belmont that you can show it off on Tuesday without a worry in your head. Sorry guys, can’t bring out your favorite bowl or bong unless you’re cool with a hefty fine (up to $2500) and/or jail time. Just stick to spliffs and joints this 4/20.

    Those of you on financial aid, beware. After a felony or misdemeanor conviction for possession or sale, a court may deem you ineligible for government aid for up to three years.

    BEING HIGH

    Provided you’re not being a public disturbance or driving a motor vehicle, being high is not illegal. Don’t push it though, and I mean that in a literal drug sense. Cops here are more worried about suppliers of sizable amounts of weed than you lighting up a joint on the sidewalk. Granted, don’t give a cop a reason to search you for weed. There’s a good chance that won’t end too well if you haven’t smoked it all.

    But yes, you can smoke a joint and proceed to be high inside Burger King. No, you’re not in heaven.

    Again, don’t smoke and drive. Driving under the influence of drugs is a serious crime in Illinois. The penalties are the same as being caught drinking and driving — up to one year in jail, a $2500 fine and loss of your driver’s license. Keep it pedestrian.

    MISCELLANEOUS TIPS

    If you don’t have any on you, or your buddy isn’t coming through, have no fear; all the weed you can buy is lying right here in our own backyard. According to WeBeHigh.com, anywhere between Church and Emerson and between Dodge and McCormick should be littered with sellers, especially with 4/20 on the horizon. The site also mentions that you’ll probably get robbed anywhere south of that. Like around Howard. But like that’s any big surprise.

    And just to keep in mind before you “go to CVS,” WeBeHigh.com lists the going rate for a gram of Mids at $5/gram and Dro at $15. Though, apparently, we have our very own brand of Evanston weed aptly named “E-Town Brown.” Sounds delectable. As the site so eloquently put it, “Evanston is the Bud capital of the Chicago Suburbs, if you need it, it won’t be hard to find.”

    ***Disclaimer:  North by Northwestern does not condone performing any illicit or illegal actions on any day — no matter how special that day may be.

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