Let’s face it. A white tent stuffed with undergrads is hardly conducive to nimble thinking. I mean, the feng shui in that huge room is so off. With this in mind, here are some cheat sheet moves to keep you moving mindlessly all night and day and night – from the first hour, when you’re fresh and twerkin’ it, to the last hour, when you’re more spent than Munch Money at Frontera.
Shoulder Shrug
The Shoulder Shrug is a fantastic way to give voice to your inner Charlie Brown extra without all the awkward pigeon-toeing. If anyone gives you shit, tell them you’re practicing isolation. They won’t know what that means, so it’ll sound intimidating.
Step: Move your shoulders rhythmically up and down while stepping from side to side. Throw in a hair flip if you’re feeling feisty.
Bring it out: Halfway through, when you’ve just started to flag. The Shoulder Shrug works best as an energy-saver.
The Boise Shake
If we were a movie, then you’d be a rockstar and it would be possible to do the Harlem Shake. Unfortunately, the move is only possible on YouTube. So what happens when you take this mimetic move and bring it into the too-real world of DM? You get the Boise shake.
Step: Chances are, you’re already doing it. See that awkward freshman boy doing the robot by himself? Grab your team, run back to the Louis room to change outfits and return to encircle him in a little dance I like to call "friendship."
Bring it out: At every block, bro. There’s no time for awkward befriending like DM.
The Bernie
If you’re looking to dance awkwardly, nap in an unorthodox shape and piss a bunch of people off all at the same time, look no further. The Bernie is a surefire way to keep you – and your dangling zombie impression – on your feet.
Step: Lean back and dangle your arms toward the ground. Then, in the sophisticated vernacular of Urban Dictionary, “hold yo’ head back like a nosebleed comin’ through.”
Bring it out: When you’re in desperate need of a stretch, or when that bug-eyed freshman from Fran’s is tryna grind up behind you.
The Shampoo
Everyone’s gross halfway through DM, but that doesn’t make it okay to have gross hair. Before your tresses whip into sweat-congealed ropes, try this move served fresh from dubstep beats.
Step: Rub "shampoo" between your hands 'til the beat drops; then rub your hands on the sides of your head and go cray in a rhythmic way.
Bring it out: When you're at the knife's edge of nasty. The move is pretty worthless later on.
The Twerk
Finally, the infamous Twerk. Big, bold and bootylicious, this move is not for the faint of heart or flat of ass.
Step: I’m not tryna explain this one without a sassy video how-to.
Bring it out: You can't really go wrong with timing. My advice? Start with the Twerk, end with the Twerk.