Being a third wheel can be a rough experience for everyone, and many of you, whether you admit it or not, have probably been there before. It's awkward, uncomfortable and generally not fun. However, if you find yourself in such a position, here are two third wheeling perspectives to make your experience more bearable.
She said:
We've all been there. You're all set to spend time with your best friend when she asks, "Is it okay if I bring my boyfriend?" And, not wanting to sound too difficult, you agree to subject yourself to the terribly awkward position of the third wheel.
It's the first time that you've seen your best friend since she left for college and you run into her arms. Reunited and it feels so good. Then you see him following behind, and at first he's the awkward one. That is until you're sitting on the couch watching Pitch Perfect and suddenly you're intruding on their love fest.
So how do we avoid this excruciatingly awkward position? I've developed a few tactics in my many years of experience in this position.
Bring your gay best friend. This is actually the best tactic in dodging the third wheel bullet. While your friend and her boyfriend are in their own little love-sick world, you get to spend time with your main man. Whenever the couple starts publicly displaying their affection, you've got a partner in crime to spice things up with. Trust me, it works every time.
Suggest a spa day. What boyfriend would be down to hang out at the salon inhaling the nail polish fumes? If for some reason he wants to come anyway, how romantic could things really get? Chances are, he'll be the one feeling like the third wheel. Plus, your friend will probably get the hint that you're up for more of a girls' day.
Request a GNO. Tell her that you want to hear all about her boyfriend, but that you need a crazy night with your girls. Play up your status as an instable single woman and make plenty of comments about how Valentine's Day is approaching and it's the time of year when you suddenly become hyperaware of the fact that you will be spending it alone – even if this is not even remotely true.
If none of these solutions fit your fancy, just bail as soon as you hear the word boyfriend. We all know that "I want you to meet him!" only works when you have a group of friends to turn to as soon as things start getting mushy.
He said:
When you live sort of vicariously through your friends’ sex lives, you’re bound to encounter third wheeling every once in a while. Regardless of your intent or the undoubtedly unusual circumstances that led you into such a predicament, it ends up super awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved.
Take the following situation: After hanging out with my friend, he thought he’d meet up with his girlfriend for dinner and whatever else. I saw no problem with inviting myself along; I admittedly had nothing to do that night and thought I might as well hang out with two good friends who also happened to be dating.
To make a long story short, being a generally awkward person led me to snuggling literally in between the two of them while watching a movie in a darkened room. By now, of course, I’d realized my mistake in willingly third wheeling, but it was also too late to silently flee the scene. Instead I simply “went to the bathroom” and called them later to tell them I’d left.
In order to lead a significantly less uncomfortable existence in this life, avoid being a third wheel. Find a hobby, life your life, etc. If you find yourself in these situations, however, don’t lose hope. Being a third wheel isn’t all bad.
For example, if you enjoy messing with people every once in a while, being a third wheel is the perfect way to bring out your mischievous, meddlesome mayhem. Give your friend a hard time in front of his girlfriend for shits and giggles. But if this isn’t your thing (and it probably isn’t), here are some tips to make third wheeling more bearable.
Pick up on social cues. If the couple in question is passing you hints to simply leave, then do. No one will judge you for being awkward, just take the kind-hearted, good-natured step of leaving.
Don’t overcompensate. While it’s totally natural to be overeager in such a perplexing situation, that only makes things worse. I remember when I fell into a lengthy discourse with another couple on, among other things, how thrilled I was to be hanging out with them, how I actually enjoyed third wheeling and how if, at any moment, they ever felt awkward, they should rest assured that I was as at ease as humanly possible. By the end of this embarrassment, I realized I’d fully exhausted any potential to simply be normal and promptly left. Don’t talk too much; you’ll realize pretty quickly that you simply don’t have much to say.
Embrace and rock being a lone wolf – the most apt description I can think of. When you’re third wheeling you are a lone wolf. It’s two against one. You have to embrace the paradox of making up for the fact that you’re alone, without overcompensating; be alert and simply go with the flow. If you’re like most normal people, you’ll realize third wheeling is something you probably don’t want to do again, and you’ll simply be done with it.
If you keep finding yourself, like me, in these situations, then just make the best of it! There are much worse things than playing third wheel for a night.