Nothing spells — or smells — sexy like whipping up a home-cooked meal for your man or woman. It shows that you put some thought into the gift and took the time to make something that he or she would actually enjoy. The stakes might be higher on Valentine’s Day but that doesn’t mean that you should feel any more pressure in the kitchen. Elegant meals don’t mean that you have to spend hours slaving away over the stove. It’s all about the art of the fake out. And remember, regardless of how the meal goes, you’re going to get laid. I mean it’s Valentine’s Day. We all know the dinner portion is just an excuse to have sex afterwards…
So here’s my suggestion for a Valentine’s Day-friendly meal that I recently tested out on my friends. And I promise — it sounds a lot harder to make than it actually is:
Pan-Seared Halibut
If you want to splurge on V-Day, I recommend spending a little on a nice piece of fish. I used halibut when I made this meal for friends, but any meaty white fish will do. Tilapia is a reasonably priced fish and would work great in this dish. The balsamic syrup can also be made in advance. I usually make a large batch and then store it in a squeeze bottle so that I can use it as a fancy little touch in a lot of my meals.
What you’ll need:
- 2 filets of white fish, cleaned and patted dry
- 1 teaspoon flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 1 tablespoon olive oil, plus extra to cook the fish in
- Zest of half a lemon
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 1 cup balsamic vinegar
- 2 teaspoons white sugar
Directions
- Place fish filets in a large plastic storage bag and pour over olive oil, parsley, lemon zest, and a fairly generous sprinkling of salt and pepper.
- Close the bag and shake until both filets are completely coated with the marinade.
- Place the fish in the refrigerator and leave it until you are ready to cook it.
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
- Pour the balsamic vinegar and sugar into a small saucepan and heat on high until the balsamic vinegar comes to a boil.
- Reduce the heat to medium and continue to cook until the vinegar has reduced by about three-quarters and is the consistency of chocolate syrup; this should take about 15 to 20 minutes.
- Remove from the heat and allow to fully cool once it reaches this thickness.
- Remove the fish from the refrigerator and heat a large sauté pan over high heat.
- Cook the fish in olive oil for about 3 minutes on each side, or until both sides have been browned.
- Transfer the fish to a baking dish and cook in the oven for about 5 to 10 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish, until the fish is fully cooked and slightly firm to the touch.
- Remove from the oven and keep the fish covered in aluminum foil until you are ready to serve it. When you serve the fish, drizzle the balsamic syrup over the top, and if you really want to be fancy, you can make a creative design or use a spoon or fork to do some nifty drizzling.
Israeli Couscous “Risotto”
I love risotto. Anything with that much butter and cheese can’t not be good. But let’s face it — risotto is a bitch to make. No one wants to spend that much time standing over the stove stirring rice until they turn into perfect little pearls of creamy goodness, even if this is your meal ticket to getting sex. Luckily I, by accident, discovered that you could make a pretty decent fake-out using Israeli couscous. It’s almost as good as the original and is a shit-ton less involved.
What you’ll need:
- ¾ cup Israeli couscous
- 1½ cups vegetable stock
- ½ white onion, finely chopped
- 1 clove garlic, finely minced
- Zest of 1 lemon
- 6 stalks of asparagus; slice each stalk in thirds
- 1 large portabella mushroom, halved and sliced into ¼ inch slices
- 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
- ½ cup grated parmesan cheese
- Olive oil
- Salt and pepper to taste
Directions
This recipe is best prepared in stages, otherwise it can become a little hectic trying to control all of the pots and pans on the stove at once. I recommend cooking the asparagus and mushrooms first and then leaving them to stay warm over low heat while you cook the couscous.
- Steam the asparagus in about a ¼ inch of water over medium high heat for about 5 minutes, or until the asparagus is still bright green but fork tender.
- Once the asparagus is cooked, drain the water and place back on the heat with about a tablespoon of olive oil.
- Add the portabella mushrooms and salt and pepper to taste, and cook over medium-high heat until the vegetables have browned and are fully cooked through.
- Add the balsamic vinegar, stir to combine and drop the heat to low until the couscous has finished cooking.
- To make the couscous, first heat the vegetable stock on high heat in a small saucepan. You want the stock to be boiling when you add it to the couscous.
- In a separate (and larger) saucepan, sauté the onions and garlic in about a tablespoon of olive oil for about 5 to 8 minutes until the onions are translucent.
- Add the couscous and lemon zest and sauté until the couscous is slightly golden brown. Once this has happened, add the boiling stock, drop the heat to medium-low and cover with a lid.
- Cook the couscous for about 12 to 15 minutes, until the liquid has absorbed and the couscous is creamy. Be sure to stir occasionally to prevent the couscous from sticking to the bottom of the pan.
- Once the liquid has been absorbed, add the asparagus and mushroom mixture, the parmesan cheese, and salt and pepper, and stir until the vegetable mixture is evenly incorporated into the couscous. Serve immediately with the fish and burst tomatoes (recipe follows).
Burst Tomatoes
I ate these recently at a restaurant at home and instantly fell in love. They look so beautiful and are so incredibly simple to prepare. These are so simple and so delicious and add a lovely pop of color to any dish!
What you’ll need:
- 1 cup grape tomatoes
- 1 tablespoon flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 1-2 teaspoons olive oil
- Salt and pepper
Directions
- Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
- Toss the tomatoes, olive oil and parsley together in a medium-sized bowl and add salt and pepper to taste. Mix until the tomatoes are fully coated.
- Place the tomatoes on a baking sheet in a single layer and cook in the oven for about 13-15 minutes or until the tomatoes have “burst” and the skin looks blistered.
So while this meal may have several components, I guarantee you that it’s not hard to make. The risotto and syrup can be made in advance and the burst tomatoes will take you 30 seconds to prepare. And remember, if you stay in to eat rather than going out, you’re that much closer to the bedroom…which means more time for other fun V-day activities.