If you’ve been waiting for the rigors of the academic year to set in before immersing yourself in the absurdity that is Glee, here’s what you missed in the first two episodes of season four: As we saw at the end of season three, half of the glee club has graduated and left Lima. Santana is in Lousiville, Kentucky on a cheerleading scholarship, Puck is in Los Angeles, Finn is in the army and Rachel is at NYADA. New York is not so easy for Rachel, who finally has to face a teacher that doesn’t coddle her and is obsessing over Finn, who hasn’t spoken to her for months, despite being wooed by very cute new guy Brody. After being rejected from NYADA, Kurt’s worked at the Lima Bean all summer and is feeling depressed.
Things are going much better for the rest of the cast: Sue has had her baby, Robin, and the New Directions are popular for about five minutes because of their win at nationals. Blaine uses his moment of popularity to surprise Kurt with a serenade, winning himself boyfriend of the year and pushing Kurt to go to New York to join Rachel and pursue an internship at Vogue.com. This makes the second Glee couple in a long distance relationship, as Brittany is feeling lost without Santana. And, of course, the club needed some new members. There’s transfer student and former Vocal Adrenaline MVP Unique, the sweet Marley Rose, daughter of the new lunch lady, and clichéd bad-boy Jake Puckerman, the heretofore unknown half brother of Puck. Marley and Jake are, of course, in a love triangle with cheerleader Kitty, the “new” Quinn, who unlike previous mean girls has no redeeming features and who I wouldn’t mind getting the Regina George treatment (AKA getting a bus to the face).
Now on to episode three, Makeover, which opened with the first ever Blaine Anderson voiceover. In what may be one of the greatest montages in Glee history: Blaine explains that since his boyfriend has gone off to New York, he’s tried to distract himself by joining every club McKinley has to offer, including a Superhero Sidekicks Club and a Dungeons and Dragons Club, before finally signing up for the Student Council President election against current president Brittany (who is attempting to be the only ever two-term senior class president).
Brittany quickly realizes she needs some help, so she wrangles Artie to be her “half robot” vice president. So who does that leave to be Blaine’s running mate? None other than former stripper and all-around sweetheart Sam Evans. And thus was born the greatest bromance in the history of Glee: Blam. And when the pairs have to go head to head in a presidential debate, Artie has to teach Brittany to be less… Brittany, while Blaine gets to play dress up with Sam to make him look more mature and not make it seem like their partnership is because he’s “desperate for the straight vote.”
Meanwhile in New York, Kurt is finally allowed to succeed in something (still bitter over NYADA) when he lands an internship at Vogue.com. His new boss Isabelle (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) is too sweet for her own good, but she and Kurt make the cutest friends as she becomes his also Ohio-bred “fairy godmother.” Especially when they bond over giving Rachel a makeover in a Devil Wears Prada meets Willy Wonka meets Broadway style musical number. She and Anna Wintour praise Kurt’s aptitude for fashion and advise he revise his dreams to focus on that instead of Broadway. Of course Kurt’s sudden success after years of being kicked in the face (sometimes literally) means that he’s distracted and self-centered on his Skype date with Blaine, whose sad face not only made me want to cry, but probably makes puppies all over the world sob.
In a possibly metaphorical move, Blaine removes his “signature” bowtie for the presidential debate. Highlights include Artie boring everyone, Sam stripping, Blaine becoming indignant over Brittany’s anti-hair gel laws (“Telling anyone what they can or cannot put in their hair is disgusting. It’s the first step towards tyranny.”) and Brittany promising to outlaw summer vacations and weekends. It’s no surprise that Blam won (I always go with the hot guy vote). But after Kurt ignores Blaine’s phone call, the distraught teen confides in his newfound bro that he feels alone at McKinley because he came there only for Kurt, “and now it just feels like none of it matters.” Thankfully Sam steps up and reminds Blaine how much he’s done by becoming “McKinley’s first gay guy president” and that they’re bros, “like Wolverine and Cyclops.” The real question is, which is which?
There was also a subplot at McKinley of Mr. Schue feeling bored with glee club after their national win, but finding a new passion in applying to go to DC to campaign for more funding for the arts. Though this would mean leaving behind his fiancé, Schue doesn’t seem bothered by that aspect of the job, leaving me to think that Emma may be better off without him.
Back in New York, Rachel FINALLY gives in and invites hottie Brody over for dinner. After three episodes of him flirting and her pining over Finn, Brody and Rachel kiss. And considering he’s been so perfect that it’s hard to believe he’s real, it was about time. Of course, their date is interrupted by a knock at the door, and the final shot of the episode is Finn standing in her doorway.
Next Week: multiple couples are on the rocks, not all will survive, and millions of teenaged fans (plus this blogger) will sob.
Performances:
“Everybody Wants to Rule the World”- Blaine
As always, Darren Criss’ vocals are solid, and this sequence of Blaine trying every quirky club in McKinley was absolutely hilarious, though the costumed interpretive dancers at the end were a little much. B+
“Celebrity Skin”- Brittany and Sam
This song was not a good fit for Heather Morris’ vocals, and it was shot sort of like a drug-induced dream. Overall it was fairly lackluster. C-
“The Way You Look Tonight/ You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile”- Isabelle and Kurt
Enchanting and adorable with a Broadway sensibility. Chris Colfer needs to sing in every episode and SJP’s voice fit with the arraignment. A+
“A Change Would Do You Good”- Rachel and Brody
Lea Michele and Dean Geyer’s vocals were great, and their sexy yet wholesome romp through New York felt a lot like a commercial, complete with pretty people playing with phones and running while smiling over their shoulders. B